CJ Run & Yourbeautifulruin - Dear Diary

Learned a couple chords on piano, so I could heal more, differently
What is there to say, what do I know? How do I know what's meant for me?

Wait, how did I end up here?
I said nothing but the top from here last year
Now i'm sitting bottom of the barrel
Barely classified an adult
I'm the horse without the saddle
Someone's gotta get me out of here

Yelling out Dear Diary
Oh what an irony, How can I be less insincere?
Yelling out Dear Diary
Feed me a line right now wanna look like I got no fear
Its so cold in this furnace
London bridge is burning
To whom it may concern, I'm so alone

I've been living in my friends mums basement tryna get by
Tryna get high

Its so cold in this furnace
London bridge is burning
To whom it may concern, I'm so alone

I wake up just to go back to sleep
Days since I showered, 7 meals in a week
Can't afford a penny for the thoughts that I think
Everything and anything's a glass I never drink

Dear Diary
I wonder if ill find the love i rap about
Cause every symptom of commitments gets backing out
Can we please slow down
This ain't a proposal
Yeah I know you love me but I ain't the one to hold down

Dear Diary
I wonder if they like me cause I'm blowing up
Or maybe its because I look so damn androgynous
They/them/this/that
You're so different
I ain't really into girls but ill make an exception, for you
See this is what they do
but i ain't fall for that shit since when i was way back in school

I'm just saying like straight girls don't give head anyways
And I'm grown like fuck baby who you tryna play

No ma'am no misses I'm a man now boy
All hits, no misses, in my bag now boy
You ain't love me to begin with
You're a fan now boy
What's the mission
In ignition what you sayin my boy
Gonna rearrange the world up in my hand now boy
But before we get to cooking, grease the pan my boy
And if the oil dun pop stan ya ground my boy
I know they wanna see you flop thats not the plan my boy

Yelling out Dear Diary
Oh what an irony, How can I be less insincere?
Yelling out Dear Diary
Feed me a line right now wanna feel like I got no fear
Yelling out Dear Diary
Its so cold in this furnace
London bridge keeps burning
To whom it may concern, I'm so alone

I've been living in my friends mums basement tryna get by
Tryna get high

Its so cold in this furnace
London bridge keeps burning
To whom it may concern, I'm so alone

Its the Rapscallion, Capricorn stellium
Little bit in loving with myself
Repress all my emotion keep it stack on top of shelf
Still gotta use astrology to try and figure out myself

It feels like every line i write is hanging in the balance
I bleed on every single page and monetize my talents
It is the ballad of the brave
I feel socially estranged
While my friends are doing college I might write a hook today
And it counts man I'm putting all the work in
Breaks through the day because i do deserve it
Man im pretty close even though nobody is perfect

Wanna be famous
Even though ill hate it
Make straight hits like I'm prince in the 80's
Wanna be shameless
Beautifully jaded
Wanna get the scuffs off my nike air trainers

Everybody's rooting for me, so anticipated
Will or won't I make it?
Whats it mean to make it?
Mum said i should fake it until I do
And that's exactly what I'm gonna do

We have come too far to go home
Even when your heart feels so low
We have come too far to go home
Its so cold in this furnace

Written by:
Chanel-joy Seymour

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid, Sentric Music

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CJ Run & Yourbeautifulruin

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