Little J - Dark

I don't know where to begin
I don't know where I should start
All I know is that it's dark
And this has been very hard on my heart
Just trying to keep up my guard
I'm emotionally scarred
Yeah I might be out in the battle
But I haven't been able to get a handle
Or a grip on my thoughts even though
I'm a man of God my whole life's falling apart
All my fears are now evident
I put myself out there but it's like you'll never let me in
I took the first step but now it's just embarrassing
How we could be together but I struggle with abandonment
I've never felt so alone
Never felt so alone
I've just been wanting to pick up the phone
To call my dad and tell him what's wrong and what's going on
But I don't know how
It's like I forgot how to dial
Been feeling like this for a while
Ever since I think I was a child
Could never reach out in my trial
Just figure it out
I wonder if I’ll ever stop faking this smile
I'm just trying to figure it out
I'm just trying to figure it out
Your call has been forwarded to an automated
I don't know where to begin
I don't know where I should start
All I know is that it's dark
And this has been very hard on my heart
Just trying to keep up my guard
I'm just falling apart
Really want to have a heart to heart
About the marks that I received from an ill regard
From thinking "not me Lord"
Getting cut so hard
That my blood turned to battle scars
If you only knew the darkest parts
How I wake up every morning with this hardened heart
Cause my mind has started
All these darts bombarding
I can hardly sleep anymore I'm sorry
I just want to be set free
Yeah all I think about is how I never want to think about
How all this happened to me
What I really want is sleep
What I really want is peace
What I really want to find is a way to beat
What I've been deceived to believe
It's not reality
I'm in my own world sad to see
How everything I think about keeps on attacking me
With strategy I'm practically a casualty
Of my own lack of being happily
Connected with Christ the King your majesty
This has to be the results of an abandoned Christianity
I don't know where to begin
I don't know where I should start
All I know is that it's dark
And this has been very hard on my heart
just trying to keep up my guard and
I don't know where to begin
I don't know where I should start
All I know is that it's dark
Would a week be long to think we’ve ended
What we keep strong? No I think we've ended it
I'm keeping on can’t keep on letting
All this thinking wrong keep me so offended
It’s the hardest time of my whole life
Hardest time of my whole life
And I feel ashamed
All I want is to escape into better days
And take away all the pain of this trial
Look at the weight of this pile
I could keep running for miles
Doesn’t even mean that I’ll
Stop feeling the wiles
Making me feel suicidal
I wonder if I’ll ever stop faking this smile
I'm just trying to figure it out
I'm just trying to figure it out
I'm just trying to figure it out
I'm just trying to figure it out
I'm just trying to figure it out

Written by:
Jeremy Espinoza

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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