Candler - Hedonist

Please tell me what it all means
It all seems
So complicated
This puzzle filled with dissonant pieces so faulty
No synonyms, it's just all me
Running from my troubles
But to where am I walking
I can't call it at all, please
I never knew I was falling
I only saw street
The thoughts that were crossing
The traffic is too loud
I cannot sleep
I'm lost
But where's the destination
GPS should have brought me
Got no apostle to follow
No Paul to tell me the wrong things
But that's hardly the problem
I'm just tryna find out what I want
Why am I talking
Not on this song
But the reason I'm here at all, see
What is the profit
What is worth wanting
And I don't know what I want
So just move without stopping
I'm stuck riding the wrong bus
Thinking
Take me to a place I never been before
Close my eyes and spin until I'm dizzy
Then I hit the floor
Directionless and misinformed
Like how long I been missing for
And I know I been distant
Pulling wisdom teeth
I wish I could have kept em
Cause in em's all the memories of a little boy
When I was running with no purpose
But knew exactly my destination
I knew exactly what my name is
Now I'm stuck asking for explanation
Stuck searching turning the pages
Once filled with words but now so blank
And it's not too much to deal with
But really the lack of it at all
I never knew I needed problems in my life
Til they became so small
Now taller than I wish to be
I'm standing I can't see the ground
High above the clouds
Yet no one hears me when I'm screaming out
Thinking
Is this the meaning to my life though
Why am I screaming as I write notes
I feel I'm bleeding out my eyes though
Cause I can't see the sun's a bright glow
Thinking
Is this the meaning of my life though
Icarus falling past my sight slow
No demons calling me on my phone
But I miss the company can't lie though
Have I grasped it yet, Happiness
Have I had it yet, I keep asking this
Am I laughing because it's practical
Or am I laughing just as practicing
I'm not sad it's just half of these passages
Were all written out of apathy
Street lights passing me
But their light left in the past
I'm stuck searching afterwards
Looking for that again
Flip the switch
And darkness consumes the room once more
The light underneath the door
Leads me closer to what I thought was truly sure
I knew to the core
Once I opened it I'd be disappointed at what I saw
But I wish that I didn't
Have this constant hunger for more
Like, what I crave will never really fill me up inside
Just tide me over
Til' the next time that I have an appetite
I've signed my life
Spell my name
Then blink with dots all in my eyes
My vision shows
What I'm searching after
I may never find
But here I write
Hands torn with thorns
I turn the rose into a violet
I plant it in my garden
Free from violence
I might regret
This pursuit of happiness
Like what Jefferson said
I feel like Juliek
The hedonistic fool playing the violin
Thinking
Is this the meaning of my life though
Why am I bleeding as I write notes
I'm staring straight into my eyes tho
And the mirror stares back into my soul
Thinking
Is this the meaning of my life though
Narcissus drowning past my sight slow
I protect the parts of me that I know
Cause I'm scared of all the parts that I don't

Written by:
Jackson Carrington

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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