iamR.O.N - love myself

Lying wide awake and I'm alone
Solo so I don't pick up the phone
Pain builds, heart breaks, where did I go wrong?
I wish I knew how to love myself
No prayers cause he always lets me down
I'm forced to walk around with a smile
Where do I go now?
I wish I knew how to love myself
I don't wanna be the crutch
I don't wanna be the one that people call in a rut
I got a lot of pain of my own I'm trying to heal
So, when you tell me all your problems I don't know how to feel
Late nights are the worst for me and honestly
They bring out the worst in me I'm probably
Lying when I say that everything's just fine
Cause I haven't been fine since my momma died
I've been searching for happiness in people and places
Tryna find love in familiar faces
Tryna find the true meaning of myself
All while living in a world of Hell
Suicidal thoughts come and go to me
But I don't wanna die I just wanna get relief
I want to finally be the one that someone comes to save
But I guess that I'll be waiting for another day as I'm
Lying wide awake and I'm alone
Solo so I don't pick up the phone
Pain builds, heart breaks, where did I go wrong?
I wish I knew how to love myself
No prayers cause he always lets me down
I'm forced to walk around with a smile
Where do I go now?
I wish I knew how to love myself
I've always been the crutch
Always been the one that people seem to call for stuff
But I'm also the one that they seem to forget
Everytime that they want to plan events
I'm told not to hate myself but it's so easy
Do you know what it's like to feel so empty?
I always get a feeling like you don't need me
And if you don't need me, I feel that you don't see me
Do you know the feeling of talking all day on the phone
To your mom then 4 hours later she's gone?
Sitting alone in an empty funeral home
Putting your lips to her forehead and the feelings cold
Then you blame yourself cause you moved from home
Knowing she was worried for her son to go on his own
Always having to be the one to go and break the mold
Thinking if things would be different if I didn't go now I'm
Lying wide awake and I'm alone
Solo so I don't pick up the phone
Pain builds, heart breaks, where did I go wrong?
I wish I knew how to love myself
No prayers cause he always lets me down
I'm forced to walk around with a smile
Where do I go now?
I wish I knew how to
I love myself for all that I've accomplished
Building something from nothing was my only option
Being a star has always been in the cards
No matter the circumstances, I beat the odds
I find real hope through my daughters
My greatest achievement was becoming a father
No matter the relationships I fail at
I know that a dad is something I'm great at
You could never take that away from me
You'll never make me feel bad for trying to be
The example to my kids of a success story
Instead of working for free, I'll always follow my dreams
And I know that I can be a difficult person
I'm a stress case when I always seem to be working
But I chase this dream cause I need it for me
To know that I did something right finally
Why do the ones I love be so quick to stab me
Oh so you wanna kill my dreams
Go ahead and tell me everything I'm not
What you think I didn't know those things
No longer looking for love through my family tree
No longer trying to be the man that yall want me to be
I'm not into building bonds y'all went and broke
This is my story and that's all she wrote now I'm
Lying wide awake and I'm alone
Solo so I don't pick up the phone
Pain builds, heart breaks, where did I go wrong?
I wish I knew how to love myself
No prayers cause he always lets me down
I'm forced to walk around with a smile
Where do I go now?
The world makes hate myself
Alright son

Written by:
Kerron Stark

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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