Edgy Productions - Parental Consultation Evening

Verse 1
(All) The time’s arrived for us to meet to ‘talk things through’.
Are things progressing well,
Or is there more that we can do?
Well everyone involved is coiled
As tightly as a spring –
Oh, we’re dreading the conversation
At parental consultation evening!

Verse 2
(Parents) We’d rather juggle jars of nitro-glycerine,
Than be told how awfully-behaved
Our darling child has been!
To hear they’re less than perfect
Is a catastrophic thing –
Oh, we’re dreading the conversation
At parental consultation evening!

Verse 3
(Children) We’d rather walk with bare feet over broken glass,
Than to have our parents know what we
Are truly like in class!
Our fate hangs in the balance
By a flimsy piece of string –
Oh, we’re dreading the conversation
At parental consultation evening!

Middle 8
(Parents) We hope that ‘Your child could try much harder’,
Is the worse that will be said!
(Children) We hope they don’t find out about
Our frequent visits to the head!

Verse 4
(Teachers) Although we can’t, we’d really rather say to you
‘Your child’s not right for school,
They’d fit in better at the zoo!’
But instead we’ll say they’re ‘spirited’
‘Unique’ and ‘interesting’ –
Oh, we’re dreading the conversation
At parental consultation evening!

Written by:
Andrew Oxspring

Publisher:
Lyrics © Edgy Productions Ltd

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