Wm. Josepf Cardwell - Tex-Mex Harmonica Standoff

Overheard in a border town Saloon
Loosely translated from the Musical Bar Slang of
A Texican BASS, a New Mexican PIANO and an Irish HARMONICA

HARMONICA chimes to Bass
Mistress, isn't that what goes between the Mister and Mattress?
Then who plays Mister for you?

BASS retorts to Harmonica
You're a bigger Side Piece
Than an unfaithful gunslinger's Mistress

HARMONICA spit-shines the Bass
I've always wanted to tell you
Your greatest influence on my life is your Wanted Dead or Alive poster

BASS grumbles to Harmonica
I bet your spouse gallops awestruck
When you whinny like a horse in her ear

HARMONICA sidewise to Bass
I'm committed as a Posse for Hire

BASS mumbles to Piano
You drink enough and have enough spare time
To be your own Saloon

PIANO replies to Bass
I once heard Doc Holiday play an Amarillo Red
Which is a pie-hole full of words for Orange

PIANO flips to Harmonica
Does your Silver Sombrero protect your
Head gloom or is it more an Irish fashion statement?

HARMONICA pipes to Piano
I hear a Shop Assistant
Held your armed robbery at bay with his labeling gun

BASS to Harmonica
The only silver I long for
Is bonded to my holster, boot-tips and bolo-tie

HARMONICA to Bass
Would you like to meet the ambitions
Of my spit valve?

BASS to Harmonica
If you don't put down your piece
I'll shoot the coins in your pocket to make change

HARMONICA to Piano
Point that thing elsewhere
Before your trigger finger hits a dirty note

PIANO to Harmonica
Hey Harmonica, after I take out the Bass
You want to go Mano-a-Mano or Juan-to-Juan?

PIANO to Bass
Are you having a stand-off
With your underwear?

BASS to Piano
I hear your robbing a Sperm Bank later
Just for the taste of it

PIANO to both Bass and Harmonica
You're the kind of people
That would name a pit bull, Jesus

HARMONICA to Piano
I'll give you a Pass
Once your admit today is the 10th Anniversary of your Cradle Robbing

BASS to Piano
If this Stand-off goes any longer
You may miss your Toilet Baby being born

PIANO to Bass
Your child is like a Navy Trampoline
He looks better when bounced in a Sailor Outfit

Written by:
Wm. Cardwell

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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