Nevv - Choices.

Yo come in here
No don't turn around, come in here!
What the fuck happened man
You know what my mom's saying, I wake up to a text like this
The fuck are you doing
Don't!
Don't man
Seriously, you got no idea what these last couple of months have been like.

Fuck you Ian
Don't you tell me that your there for me cause every time I call you just tap ignore
And I'm so sick of hearing what I did was selfish, you got no idea the thoughts inside my head
When I was laying on that shower floor
Watching my life going down the drain, literally
I'm sorry that my impact was so bitter sweet but fuck I'm really trying to make sense of it
Trying to weigh the pros and cons inside my life but all I see is the deficits
All I sees a house of six and still feel so damn alone
My step mom only hounds on, outlines every single flaw
I'm twenty one so I'm a drunk, fuck it I will live up to her standards
I started stuffing bud light in my closet hiding vodka in the hamper cause it's the only remedy
It's the way I get to sleep, the trapeze that I'm walking on is getting thinner daily underneath my feet
And when you told me I could live at Amy's I thought I could feel relief
But god my own depression was so set in stone
I thought a change of scenery would do me good but it just prolonged the inevitable
I know you don't believe me but I saw no fucking way out
The only cure I saw was this McCormick's and this razor blade
Bleeding on that shower floor but when I saw my blood I swear to god that shit scared me straight
I wrapped my wrist and grabbed your mom, hoping that it ain't too late I'm scared Ian
Depression almost killed me once I'm fucking scared Ian
Fuck

Man, I can't say I understand but, I get where you're coming from
It's just you're not seeing the big picture
You know what I mean like

Fuck you Ian
Don't you tell me that you're there for me cause won't even call or respond to text
This whole family treats me like a fucking shadow in the dark i guess it's time you saw the consequence
I'm so sick of hearing songs about your love life, you think a girl has ever said she loves me
I've been alone my entire life to hear you bitch and moan is more than just insulting
It's comical, you got the slightest clue the feeling of feeling invisible
Expendable, having issues only a fifth of liquor will get you through
Addiction always whispering in your ear and convincing you
That fifth is the only thing that will fix your loneliness
Picture this your stuck at home again
Stiff inside your sadness and your sober ness
Open up the cabinet, grab McCormick's to unload a bit
Trying to think a happy thought; depression keeps corroding it
You're drunk and want the pain to stop, you see your wrist and figure you should open it
Always have the question, should I die or not and god I'm fucking over it
I'm scared Ian
Depression almost killed me once I'm fucking scared Ian
I hate living in this rut it's such a bare feeling
And maybe living ain't enough and no prayers will heal it

No fucking prayers will heal this!
And I'm sick of you talking about bigger pictures and shit!
Always talking about your family, what about my family man!?
They turned their back on me and shit, all the fucking time!
It's about you, the Ian show, and all this shit, Amy and Alex I'm fucking over it
I live in everybody else's shadow!
Fuck you Ian!
Fuck you!

Written by:
Nevv

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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