Mike Thomas - Croc'd and Loaded (Bargaining)

I would give it all just to be one of those demons
That watch me while I sleep and laugh when I'm bleeding
I'd like to laugh at trauma too
I'd sell my soul if it meant a new body
One that doesn't spend every single night sobbing
I want to escape this self abuse
I could go on and on
But the moral of the story is I'd give anything
If it meant I don't have to be myself
And if I'm gone
You'll wake up in the morning feeling better and the funny thing
Is you'll have no one here to help
I can't help but think that I'd feel better if I wasn't me
So I've been trying to find a way to change, but I can't breakthrough
The shell of misery I wrapped around myself to keep the peace
You better hope I don't find a way through, cause I'll fill you up with hate too
Ghosts roaming halls, you don't notice that they pass by
Never worried bout the bloody hands from their past lives
There's a bit of green entering my eyes
Feral beasts in the streets, and they're starving
Never stressing over how much their broken heart beats
A life without feeling is a life that I'd survive
If I could move on
From feeling like a burden and hurting everyone I love
I would give up everything I am
I have waited so long
For the tides of change to lift me up and wash my hands of all this blood
But I'm stuck waiting in the sand
I can't help but think that I'd feel better if I wasn't me
So I've been trying to find a way to change, but I can't breakthrough
The shell of misery I wrapped around myself to keep the peace
You better hope I don't find a way through, cause I'll fill you up with hate too
If I could trade places with one of those faces staring back at me while I lay awake I
Wouldn't feel the need to break down again
And if I wasn't full of fear, I could stand to be here living out my life without feeling like I bleed tears
And I wouldn't be so fucked up in the head
I can't help but think that I'd feel better if I wasn't me
So I've been trying to find a way to change, but I can't breakthrough
The shell of misery I wrapped around myself to keep the peace
You better hope I don't find a way through, cause I'll fill you up with hate too
I can't help but think that I'd feel better if I wasn't me
So I've been trying to find a way to change, but I can't breakthrough
The shell of misery I wrapped around myself to keep the peace
You better hope I don't find a way through, cause I'll fill you up with hate too

Written by:
Mike Schraeder

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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