Jonathan Coulton - Ikea

Long ago in days of yore
It all began with a god named Thor
There were Vikings and boats
And some plans for a furniture store

It's not a bodega, it's not a mall
And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine
As if there were apartments smaller than mine

Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size
Billy the bookcase says hello

And so does a table whose name is Ingo
And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl

Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

Plywood, brushed steel
Meatballs, tasty
Allen wrenches

All of them for free
All of them for me

I'm sorry I said IKEA sucks
I just bought a table for 60 bucks
And a chair and a lamp
And a shelf and some candles for you

I was a doubter just like you
'Til I saw the American dream come true
In New Jersey, they got a god-damned Swedish parade

Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

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