Tom Lehrer - Lobachevsky

Who made me the genius I am today
The mathematician that others all quote?
Who's the professor that made me that way?
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat

One man deserves the credit
One man deserves the blame
And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name
Hi
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics
Plagiarize
Plagiarize
Let no one else's work evade your eyes
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes
So don't shade your eyes
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize
Only be sure always to call it please "Research"

And ever since I meet this man my life is not the same
And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name
Hi
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach

I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write
It was on analytic and algebraic topology oflocally Euclidean
metrization of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold
Bozhe moi
This I know from nothing
But I think of gtreat Lobachevsky and get idea, ah, ah

I have a friend in Minsk
Who has a friend in Pinsk
Whose friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petropavlovsk
Whose friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropetrovsk

And when his work is done
Haha, begins the fun
From Dnepropetrovsk to Petropavlovsk
By way of Iliysk and Novorossiysk
To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
To Tomsk to Omsk to Pinsk to Minsk
To me the new will run
Yes, to me the news will run

And then I write
By morning, night
And afternoon
And pretty soon
My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed
When he finds out I publish first

And who made me a big success and brought me wealth and fame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name
Hi
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach

I am never forget the day my first book is published
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else
Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory
Thie book was sensational
Pravda, well, Pravda, Pravda said
"It stinks"
But Izvestia, Izvestia said
"It stinks"

Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys movie rights for six million rubles
Changing title to "The Eternal Triangle"
With Ingrid Bergman playing part of hypotenuse

And who deserves the credit?
And who deserves the blame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name
Hi

Written by:
Tom Thomas Lehrer

Publisher:
Lyrics © Public Domain

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