Stephen Lynch - Mixer at Delta Chi

It's college time again
September's almost here
Hangin' with freshman girls
Frat parties kegs of beer

I see a girl I'm wanting
Mixer at Delta Chi
We take some Oxicotin
Dave Matthews gettin' high

And then as I undress her
And start my stimulus
She says but wait Professor
This wasn't on the syllabus

I'm the bad professor
I'm the bad professor
A tenured titty caresser
I'm a bad, bad man

Tutor her at my apartment
Turns into a slow dance
Hey baby, what's your minor?
Got you major in my pants

I love her student body
She wants a better grade
I say if you roll over
I'll throw in financial aid

Hope you boned up for your midterms
If you want I can help you cram
Don't give a shit about the essay test
So let's skip it and get to the oral exam

I'm the bad professor
I'm the bad professor
Your money's on the dresser
I'm a bad bad man

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