Caleb Hyles - Not My Own

I've had enough. I've had enough
I've taken all this time in my head
No further along; I can't resolve
Stop wondering, "Why?"
It's such a silly question
Pardon my misdirection
I tend to deflect when I'm feeling threatened
I know I'm just a bag of bones, so then why the ache inside
My life is NOT MY OWN, or at least not what it seems
The child before with brightest dreams
Awoken to unflinching reality
I can claim I have control, but the truth never listens to you or me
The sooner that I am crushed by time, the sooner I can finally be set free
Can we be free
Remember Katie back in high school
And the way she smiled and smelled when she flipped her hair
Remember staring at the ceiling and the pit inside your stomach
When you found out she doesn't care and
Remember listening to your best friend tell her abuser that she will "be alright" and
Remember feeling like a feeling maybe felt a little freeing but forgot that you were
Dead inside
I've got perspective now and the world isn't so small
But this reality makes me just not "want"
Want to live at all
My life is NOT MY OWN, or at least not what it seems
The child before with brightest dreams
Awoken to unflinching reality
I can claim I have control, but the truth never listens to you or me
The sooner that I am crushed by time, the sooner I can finally be set free
Can we be free
I'm at the ending
I see my family
But we're not broken
We are mending
And all my loved ones
They are surrounding
The fear inside my heart, escaping
And suffering has lost its meaning
And grief and joy they are both dancing
I hold them close and tell them "I'm sorry"
And they just smile and say
"You were never alone."
Alone
"This life is cruel, but has potential"
"There's something greater than we know."
"Why have meaning when there's no meaning?"
"The evolution of our understanding."
Creating purpose where pain resided
And telling ourselves that it's normal
If this is "living" then tell me
What do I do now
Do we all just carry on
Can we all just carry on
My life is NOT MY OWN, or at least not what it seems
The child before with brightest dreams
Awoken to unflinching reality
I can claim I have control, but the truth never listens to you or me
The sooner that I am crushed by time, the sooner I can finally be set free
Can we be free

Written by:
Caleb Hyles

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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