Josh A and iamjakehill - Suicidal Thoughts

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying

Why do I even try?
Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life
When I'm battling pain and my demons at night?
Trying to find a new outlet
The devil pouncin', I hear him howlin', my vision cloudin'
Man, I tried to escape but there ain't no way
Try to be strong when I deal with the pain, yeah
But I'm ditching the coffin, so my family has options
Gotta work 'til I'm dead so that they get the best
Don't wanna set up a bad example
'Cause the kids looking up can't leave in shambles
Can't make them think clocking out's okay
So fuck suicide, I'm here to stay

Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time
Tryna find the light
Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time
Tryna find the light, no no
I'll be out here runnin', I'll be runnin' from myself now
Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now
I'll be runnin' now, I'll be runnin' from myself now
Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying

One too many bad thoughts inside me
Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice
I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always
Barely standing, crawling down the hallways
Sink into my bed, with death inside my head
Yeah, that note you found? I didn't mean it
Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
Never meant to let you down, I've been down and out
Racing thoughts had to drown them out, fuck
Never giving in I swear to God
No matter how many times I prayed to a God I don't believe in
Just to see if I will never wake up, but he called my bluff

Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time
Tryna find the light
Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time
Tryna find the light, no no
I'll be out here runnin', I'll be runnin' from myself now
Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now
I'll be runnin' now, I'll be runnin' from myself now
Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying
(I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die)
(I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright)
(But every day I feel like dying)
(Every day I feel like dying)

Written by:
Daniel Jacob Hill, Joshua Chace Ashcraft

Publisher:
Lyrics © Songtrust Ave

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