Tom Lehrer - The Irish Ballad

About a maid I'll sing a song
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
About a maid I'll sing a song
Who didn't have her family long
Not only did she do them wrong
She did ev'ryone of them in
Them in
She did ev'ryone of them in

One morning in a fit of pique
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
One morning in a fit of pique
She drowned her father in the creek
The water tasted bad for a week
And we had to make do with gin
With gin
We had to make do with gin

Her mother she could never stand
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
Her mother she cold never stand
And so a cyanide soup she planned
The mother died with a spoon in her hand
And her face in a hideous grin
A grin
Her face in a hideous grin

She set her sister's hair on fire
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
She set her sister's hair on fire
And as the smoke and flame rose higher
Danced around the funeral pyre
Playin' a violin-olin
Playin' a violin

She weighted her brother down with stones
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
She weighted her brother down with stones
And sent him off .To Davy Jones
All they ever found were some bones
And occasional pieces of skin
Of skin
Occasional pieces of skin

One day when she had nothing to do
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
One day when she had nothing to do
She cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew
And invited the neighbors in, -bors in
Invited the neighbors in

And when at last the police came by
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
And when at last the police came by
Her little pranks she did not deny
To do so she would have had to lie
And lying, she knew, was a sin
A sin
Lying, she knew, was a sin

My tragic tale, I won't prolong
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
My tragic tale I won't prolong
And if you do not enjoy my song
You've yourselves to blame if it's too long
You should never have let me begin
Begin
You should never have let me begin

Written by:
Tom Thomas Lehrer

Publisher:
Lyrics © Public Domain

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