Never Again In My Life - Waiting Your Whole Life For Something Just For It To Make Your Worse Than It Already Was

Despite what everyone said, I still couldn't see it
Apparently it was normal, supposedly
No one ever made a big deal about it
No one even really mentioned it unless they saw it
But you want what you can't have, no matter how big or small
So I never stopped looking
I've been everywhere, seen everything
Dreaming days and focused nights
And well, I had given up a lot of times
So I tried to accept that, I am the only one with this problem
So the chances of it dissipating is too big of a number to say out loud
But that never meant that it wouldn't go away
Because it never did
Every time I saw the planes go by at night
Seeing the reflection of it on the silver wing
It challenged my acceptance
Gave me hope in those 13 seconds
Where I could see a part of what everyone else could see too
That hope never died
Like an infected tattoo that would stay itchy and red until I did something about it
It was a constant reminder for what I could maybe see one day
When I saw it for the first time
It didn't take my breath away
It didn't make me cry, I didn't say oh wow
But the feeling of relief I had gotten from first seeing it
Toppled any sensical reaction or emotion
I was still, I doubt I even blinked
The eternity I sat there for felt too quick to be real
It was magnifying, I couldn't strip my eyes from it
It wouldn't be until I finally had to look away
That I could even attempt to make sense of what I had seen
The only way I could describe it is it was it was
Movie like to be full, the waning of its shape was almost a relief
My whole being surrounded the sight of this very thing
And it took away the true essence of its purpose to me
And I hate myself for it, no I- I don't know
My immediate thoughts have nothing to do with it only me
Because that very thing had become me
Despite us having nothing to do with each other in the first place
It's not it's fault I mean I did this
But I was angry that it wasn't the euphoric sight I built it up to be
But it isn't euphoric and has never been euphoric
It simply is

Written by:
Dylan Clancy

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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