Hard-Ons - Never Been Handsome

I’ve never been handsome
I ain’t got the face
Someone booked my looks
And shot ‘em up in space
All extremities
Like a canvas stretched
S’pose my nose’ll poke out one day
Beneath my neck
But I ain’t sad about it
I don’t envy
All you pretty boys
And yer morning routines
Oh fuck it

Baby, baby, here’s the deal
You got the cash but for free I’m a steal
Baby, baby, here’s the facts
I’m in shock, it’s not that I can’t react

Never been handsome
I’ve never felt clean
I’m a Datsun 120B
In a world of limousines
But I’ll buy you dinner
Steal yer drinks
And ask you always
What you really think
Howsabout it?

Baby, baby, here’s the deal
You got the cash but for free I’m a steal
Baby, baby, here’s the facts
I’m in shock, it’s not that I can’t react

I don’t waste time on mirrors, I don’t moisturise
I don’t take my vitamins like all those other guys
Guess I’m not ugly, I never stood a chance
I’ve never been handsome, thank fuck I can dance

Baby, baby, here’s the deal
You got the cash but for free I’m a steal
Baby, baby, here’s the facts
I’m in shock, it’s not that I can’t react
Baby, baby, here’s the deal
You got the cash but for free I’m a steal
Baby, baby, here’s the facts
I’m in shock, it’s not that I can’t react

Written by:
Peter Black, Tim Rogers

Publisher:
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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