aim king - tendencies

I have a tendency to idolise love interests
Break my own heart
Then lose interest
'Spose you learn these patterns in childhood
I have a tendency for straight-face
But my smiles good
I have tendencies to over-give
Or not give enough
Pendulum swinging between that selfless and selfish love
Tendencies to overthink, overanalyse
Washed over by overwhelm
Under surface, an underwhelm of
I wanted this thing but now I'm not so sure

I tend to think in binaries
Like good and bad
Positive and negative
Right and wrong
As though it's that simple
A tendency towards reductiveness to cope with complexity
I tend to see the beauty in things
In shapes of trees, in eyes, clouds, insects
Most things that fly, that swim
I see beauty in most things
I tend to walk down the street and sing
Can't contain myself
Forget that passers-by are listening

I tend to misplace things
Like my keys or favourite pencil
Like poems that I've scribbles on a waiter's
Like my love
But I tend to refind them
In a bag somewhere
In a back pocket
In an act of self-care

See, I have the tendency to look for love outside of me
I mean, understandably
A lot of what we see, our shown
Isn't how to feel whole alone
But, instead tends has us fill up
Imagine holes in our hearts, our stomachs, our eyes
With things and things to buy
Feeling whole for me
Tends to be when I am by the water
Or hug a tree
Yes, a walk in the woods has the tendency to fill me
Feel the aliveness
Or when we talk so honestly and tend to the wounds of our time
Or when you call me drunk and giddy
Pouring more out than you would usually
We have a tendency to hold back
A valiant but impossible attempt to protect

I tend to believe my thoughts
Sit on a high horse
'til I fumble and fall
Return humbles
We all tend to compare ourselves to another
Forgetting, there is no other
With the same combination of parts just like ours
At least, not in this dimension
When I write I tend to doubt it
Tend to want to write something profound in
Each line, but recent times
Have me appreciating the mundane, the everyday
Like how two strangers can look into each other's souls then look away
Perhaps we all appreciate what is a little too late
'only when we sense the end, do we find the courage to speak,
The courage, but still don't know what to stay'

We have the tendency to want to change
And to want change
But, sometimes apathy takes its place
Values don't always align with our actions
I tend to seek truth, but a lie might happen
We care about the planet, but still buy fast fashion
We tend care more than we show
Tend to know more and less than we think we know
We all fear the unknown
Tend to act like the future's predictable
We are all full of contradictions
Tendencies contradicting each other
But with pure intentions
Even if means differ

My self differs around sisters, around each person
I tend to love people, but don't always want to be around them
Introversion means I need time for introspection
I suppose these tendencies change slow
Until you're some other and didn't notice
All I know is
I'd like to move in malleability
Harness the power of vulnerability
Release the need for consistency
Instead, in each moment
Who is it I'd like to be

Written by:
aim king

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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