Jay and Bill's Unnamed Band Project - Chapter Three

We had just broken out
Of the earth's atmosphere
When Jimbo launched a fart
With the half life of a year
He rolled down the window
And was sucked out into space
Jay jumped back and rolled it up
While watching Jimbo's face
We were sure he was dead
But at least he went drunk
Imagine our surprise
When he climbed inside the trunk

We were on our way to Mars
Another journey to the stars
We'd escaped the ancient past
Hoping our supplies would last
And exactly 9 months later
With an empty fridgerator
Touched down on Martian soil
Praying we wouldn't freeze or boil

When the red dust finally settled
We were pleasantly surprised
To see Martians walking everywhere
Right before our eyes
There were red Martians, green Martians
White Martians too
And a weird little dude who said
Earth shattering KABOOM
There were fat Martians, skinny Martians
Martians short and tall
There were so many that
We couldn't chronicle them all

They all seemed friendly
And they offered us a drink
We looked at one another
But Jimbo didn't blink
He was on a second round
Before we started on our first
But I will admit, nine months in space
Creates an awful thirst

The drinking did commence
And the party carried on
After a while I got up
And went looking for the John
I found Jon Osterman, John Carter
And J'onn J'onzz and his bride
But I couldn't find a toilet
So I had to go outside

As I relieved myself
On the dusty Martian ground
I heard rumblings and mumblings
And so I turned around
Standing there behind me
It seemed the entire Martian race
Was so outraged by my puddle
They sent us right back into space

They were nice enough to load us up
With food and drink to store
But their message was quite clear
Don't come around here no more

They gave us lots of fuel
And a bunch of goodies for us
Including pinup pictures
Of some chick named Dejah Thoris
They sent us off quite well
Despite my big faux pas that day
Now Olympus Mons approaches
Beneath the suns cool rays
We lift off from the surface
And look back at old Barsoom
As we hear a loud explosion
A Mars shattering kaboom
I knew that guy was flaky
Thank the stars I had to pee
Or this could have been the end for us
And not merely Chapter 3

Written by:
Bill Phillips, Jay Royals

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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