Ky Xx - I Need Change

It's always the same backrooms type of dream
The house way out there lost at sea
I'm not sure what it means,
But thinking about me always eats at me
I built this safety net around me
But lately, I've been running low on safety
I don't know what's coming and it scares me
God, why am I such a control freak?

I just want to be saved but I'm terrified of literally everything
I'm always stuck in the same place
I'm too scared of change
I know I should let it go
Am I going down the wrong road?
But I gotta face it
The ones I support don't support me back
Happy moments for me don't always last
Sick and tired of feeling like I'm not loved
What the fuck is up?

California is calling my name
But I don't wanna deal with the fakes
He said Kansas is calling his name
I'm not sure about me
Why don't I ever get lucky?
Please don't fall asleep on me
'Cause I'm barely there, can I be big yet?
I suffer from reality
My head is stuck inside my dreams
I take everything with meaning

I'm so convinced he doesn't love me
(No) No, why would anybody ever want me?
He cheats inside my dreams
He claims he misses me, but doesn't show my worth through his sympathy
When am I supposed to be happy again?
They come back and claim their my fucking friends
Eventually, I'll forget what you look like
Save every post, don't put me on ghost mode

California is calling my name
But I don't wanna deal with the fakes
He said Kansas is calling his name
I'm not sure about me
Why don't I ever get lucky?
Please don't fall asleep on me
'Cause I'm barely there, can I be big yet?
I suffer from reality
My head is stuck inside my dreams
I take everything with meaning

What is there to do?
When he's high and she's MIA?
Already felt lonely (lonely)
Now I feel lonelier (lonelier)
You being here seems like a distant memory
I just want to get rich and at the same time be happy
I tasted you in my dreams
Your bliss so really sweet
Why can't that be reality?

California is calling my name (calling my name)
But I don't wanna deal with the fakes
He said Kansas is calling his name
I'm not sure about me
Why don't I ever get lucky? (Ever get lucky?)
Please don't fall asleep on me
'Cause I'm barely there, can I be big yet?
I suffer from reality
My head is stuck inside my dreams
I take everything with meaning
California is calling my name
But I don't wanna deal with all the fakes
Please don't fall asleep on me
'Cause I'm barely there, can I be big yet?

Written by:
Kaia Zuniga

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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