Ashton Owen - wildflower lane (demo)

I'll spend my 20s wishing i loved myself more as a teen
I'll regret not rekindling the friends i lost - things i could've seen
I'm living in "what if"s and what i could have been
If i made a couple of different choices back then

But when you're 13 all you can think about
Is how flat your stomach is or if you stick out
Everything seems like it's life or death
But, kid, take a deep breath, it's not urgent
Now i'm 23 and wishing i was nicer to me back then

Thinking introspectively i'm incredibly self aware
It's the kinda i thing i wish i could turn off and not really care
I can't change the past but i can control how i react
But after all, i'm just a kid, cut me some slack

And when you're 14 all you can think about
Is how wrong your body feels and hope your parents don't find out
You'll cut your hair and wear baggy clothes
Dreaming of a future where no one knows
Now i'm 23 and wishing i was nicer to me back then

I was young and vulnerable and easily taken advantage of
Mistaken any bit of attention for falling in love
I was bright eyed and unsuspecting of anything bad
A young optimist, what's the harm in that?

And when you're 15 you think you're so cool
When you date that older guy who doesn't go to your school
And all you can think about is what your friends said
Trying to get their nasty words out of your head
You can't go to your mom or cry to someone
Isn't being a teen supposed to be fun?
Now i'm 23 and wishing i was nicer to me back then

And when you're 16 all you can think about
Is am i ever really gonna make it out
You're pulling down your sleeves when it's ninety-five degrees
But hoping a little that someone sees
You're crying for help with a silent yell
Hoping that someone will save you from this hell
And you don't wanna wake up, you just wanna stay home
You're in a room full of people but feel so alone

So when you're 18 you feel incredibly lost
You made it this long but at what cost
You didn't have a plan to get this far
And you're wondering now what your choices are
Now i'm 23 and wishing i was nicer to me back then

I was self medicating but wasn't feeling much better
More and more and more and more but wondering why the hell it still hurt
I'll have a couple more, what's the big deal, it's all good fun
And if they find my body on the side of the road, i had a good run

And when you're 19 it feels like all you can do
Is drink til you black out or get stoned in your room
Any little thing for a sense of release
Even if it means you might die on the street
Now i'm 23 and wishing i was nicer to me back then

You can't change the past
But dear that's okay
I promise you'll be fine some day
Now i'm 23 still writing songs in my room
Didn't think it was something i would still do
There's still so much to do and so much i don't know
But i like to think that i've still grown

Everything seems like it's life or death
But, kid, take a deep breath, it's not urgent
Now i'm 23 and wishing i was nicer to me back then

Written by:
Ashton Gochanour, ashton owen

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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