The Prophet Obblonge - Gloria's Guitar

The first time I was invited into the house next door as an adult, I noticed the distinctive
Shape of a guitar case resting in the corner
My host, an elderly woman named Gloria, proceeded to inform that her husband had purchased her
That guitar decades previous

She hadn't been able to play it for nearly 20 years
Opening the hardshell I took in a pleasant surprise
Orating my thoughts, solid spruce top, bookmatched, sourced from the kingdom of Canadia
Laminated back and sides, mahogany or rosewood, ebony fretboard, a mystical looking inlay

Of the logo on the headstock, Alvarez
She got lucky, it turned out
She had turned the truss rod all the way in one direction
That can permanently damage a neck

Never adjust a truss rod more than a quarter a turn a day, and always with the string slack
Then tune up and let it sit overnight
It took three days to adjust the neck back to where it needed to be
I brought some new strings, polish

When it was new in the 1980s it sold for about $850
The equivalent to over two grand now
She made it a point at one holiday gathering to inform the entire family that when she
Died it was to pass to me

Pamela told me she burned it
Patty said she had taken it to Michigan and gifted it to her grandson Aiden
Funny, I remember taking it specifically to a place where I was instructed to retrieve
It quote, when I was married

Could have sworn the guitar that was left in the case was my first one
A Kay with blue paint dripped on it
In honor of the experience I have purchased a new guitar, an Acoustic Electric
It is only the second one I have had the privilege of grinding down the frets on myself

It also says Alvarez on it, same quasi-mystical headstock inlay
And another one at the 12th fret
No other inlays on the fretboard
I didn't need a case, having already the rigid-sided bag that originally housed the tailor

It is one of the finest intonated instruments I've ever had in my hands
Currently I'm playing it plugged into my mic interface, running through the maxed out
Version of Amplitube 5, among other sims
Mayhap very soon, I and my best friend will find out what really is in that case in Michigan

That would be ideal
Pamela is such an ugly, stupid, selfish person
Good thing I know to never believe anything that comes out of her mouth

Written by:
Michael Mackenzie

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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