The Prophet Obblonge - Lumped Into Comedy

Tom Swiftie jokes, they're not actually funny, not ever, but in the collections contained
In libraries as a kid they were present and accounted for, often under their own headings
Lumped into the comedy category
If you're not familiar

A Tom Swiftie

I'm no good at playing darts, Tom said aimlessly
Or let's get married, Tom said engagingly
Not laughing
No guffaws
Yeah
Me and no one else either

Limericks may or may not be included with these outsiders of hilarity
There is at least a possibility within the framework that
Funny strings of words could be inserted
I've never heard nor read a limerick that even made me smirk, but that's just me

Technically it would be possible
Tom Swifties
However
Are impossible to construct with maximum comedic impact

No combination of punny words can coalesce into many giggles
They're merely observations, equally as comedic as
I am wearing penny loafers
This bread is stale
Broccoli gives me gas

If you think that's funny, by the way, it's because I made you think of farts
Everyone on Earth thinks farts are funny
Do not be afraid to categorize
Or organize your thoughts for easy retrieval and rapid usage

Labels on drawer handles and systems of like with like get you the right connecting fastener
In your hand within the minute instead of the hour
As with most cognitive constructs, not everything is universally applicable

Certainly
Remember, if you can, that constant usage of your body and brain are what tells them
That they will be needed tomorrow and prepares them for it
No one wants to read the giant definitive compendium of Tom Swifties

But other forms of wordplay exist
And none of them are funny
I promise
Maybe impressive in a studious way, like long palindromes

But please, we don't need filler
Or B-sides when we need to laugh

Written by:
Michael Mackenzie

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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