Anthony Perkin - Self Aware

I've been in the same room for 24 years
Persuing a career that I revere
But I'm tired of being at the rear
Being in the back aint never fun
Getting jealous of friends
Losing funds
I got too much pride to start a GO-FUND
Me digging in my pockets with enough for a Honey Bun
Im running outta gas at this station
Entertaining thoughts of a different occupation
They say all it takes is patience
But I've been patiently waiting for a name call
Like a patient
Seeking immediate medical attention
I got this hyper tension in my heart
Did I mention I fell apart
While hopping fences
'Cause the other side looks greener
I wanted to see if it was real or if they put a screen up
To block my shot at a buzzer beater
You can tell by my demeanor that I'm getting meaner
No appetite for routine so I'm looking leaner
Small body of work with a few perks
But was it really worth the condescending looks
And the slight smirks
Was it worth not being paid first
Promised compensation
But never reimbursed
Was it worth being ran out of church
Sharing visions and dreams that brothers and sisters cursed
Was it worth being thrown in the back of hearse
Buried in 6 feet of dirt
To be honest
I don't really know
It's a real fear 'cause
I've been in the same room for 24 years
Pops was right
A job would've saved me some tears
But I let the faith shift my gears
And spearhead me in
Whats supposed to be the right direction
Minor reflections on major introspection
The dream is still active in a nightmare
I think Nolan called it Inception
God gives visions to the blind man
So I'm walking a path with no guidance
Trust me I'm not for that slow dance
Or whatever Drake said
The phrase "trust and believe"
Has left me hurt and deceived
With empty tissue boxes
And crusty shirt sleeves
I'm sick of the madness
Win or lose the journey is tragic
First you Top Gun then shot down like Maverick
Death In The Family
These jokers got they hands on me
Guess Vengeance got tied up at the after party
But I got a bar for that
Call me Jason Todd
'Cause it's Red in my Hood
With me against all odds
And these niggas raised by
Fairly odd parents
Even lil Timmy couldn't
Turn a blind eye to these low merits
My younger years I cherished
I'm greatful for the space I received
When "it's bout that time" you must leave
Do not be deceived
My enemies were closer to me than I precieved
Unable to breath
In an atmosphere that only grew weeds
I still believe in a higher power
Grace still sufficient outside the tower
I no longer fellowship with cowards
The return of the King
Make they food taste sour
Facing desolation in their final hours
I'm on an unexpected journey
With a mind open to learning
And childhood passions burning
That I forgot were there
Moral of the story life ain't fair
But it's made me self aware

Written by:
Anthony Perkin

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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