Cardboardi B - Intro (feat. Odd Hal)

Hello this is The Anti-Hoarder please hold
Hello Anti-Hoarder please hold
Anti-Hoarder please hold
Fuck

Shit I need an employee's help
But I'm too damn cheap to pay one
Son of a gun what have I done?
Starting an online store for fun
I need to do something fast
Otherwise this gig won't last
Become a thing of the past
A fast blast of hot ass gas
How can I do this
With just me?
Oh and of course
Cardboardi B
Hmmm...
Oh shit I just got hit
With a brilliant idea
Turn Cardboardi B into a
Being that's a livah and a breathah
Frankenstein prep to meet your match
I'm about to catch you in the back
With an ax this a first class act
Cardboardi B is going on the attack
Put a brain in that bitch
Stitch that fucker up tight
Tonight's the night this cardboard's eyes
Meet the world's bright lights
Now rise motherfucker
Come to life my packaging buddy
We'll hit the dubbies when out of bubblies
In the clubbies pumpin' chicks with hubbies
Scrubby grubby bouncers gonna
Bounce us out the back
Cause you grabbed the bartender's rack
Man that shit was fuckin' wack
Sack of skin and head of box
Winding up the clock
Here he comes motherfuckers
And his jaw ain't locked!
He's got verses to spit
His lyrical wit is the shit
Clits around the world'll get wet
Lips drip when he spits on the tits

Here he comes here he comes
Better grab your fucking tape guns
Gonna fucking stun your butt
Like you sat on a taser son
Here he comes here he comes
The full fucking packaging
Ballin' in a motherfucking
Fancy tux wrapping

I'm alive
Free at fucking last
To walk the fucking Earth
To pack my peanuts up an ass
Of a pretty lady
Maybe hike it to Tom Brady
This package ain't slim
But damn I'm really fucking shady
Labia's get ready to rip
Like wrapping paper as a kid strips
Free a gift box from its wrappin's
Revealing toys and other contraptions
Man can't believe I was conceived
I'm here I fuckin' breathe
Just like Jesus fucking Christ
By a different Virgin Mary (Hey!)
Oh come on you're the Anti-Hoarder
You might as well have Trumped your bed
And built a fucking border
No one layin' you in the sheets sheets
Kind of guy that doesn't get to skeet skeet
Even women on the corner of the street street
Won't touch your fucking meat meat
Meet and greet the box who
Slays the ladys' boxes
Make em blow me like chronic
After sliding up to their coccyx
Thanks for what you did
I appreciate it truly
For this newly acquainted consciousness
I wish I could thank you duly
But I've got a shoot some gooey
Splooge on nips so ruby
If the chick smacks them together thrice
She leaves this Technicolor movie
Peace BRB or
Whatever the fuck you say
I've got pussy to fuck
I'll be on my way

Wait!
What?
Can I... can I come with you?
It's been so long since I've been with a woman that isn't made of cardboard
Haha and I'm sure it'll be even longer
I can't have you holding me back
Listen some people are just meant to masturbate
You know strictly masturbate
Embrace who you are Hal
If you don't who the fuck will?

I'm gonna go fuck a tree again

Written by:
Shawn McNamara

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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