Quanstar & LexZyne - P.T.S.D.

Compton in the '80's was the place that I be
Probably suffering from PTSD
Gang shit crazy cop shit worse
News fucking hates me feel like I'm cursed
At an early age had to see the world real
8 when I saw the first cat got killed
10 watched popo smash a dude's grill
Really no reason just do what they feel
Couple years later pops moved to the A
Was I a reason that he was moving away
Baby cousin killed in a driveby
Everyday feeling like I might die
Stopped doing homework grades fell too
Family thought drugs was the change of mood
Tried to talk to my mom always came out angry
Thinking that I was going fuckin crazy

Man I hated who I was
Couldn't fucking face who I was
Didn't understand it held it all in
This is really where my pain begins
Lack self esteem and had self loathing
Used arrogance hide like clothing
Headphones on Public Enemy and Ice Cube
Empowerment they preaching couldn't truly vibe too
My pain was a lot more embedded
Hid where race and religion couldn't get in
One eye angry one eye sad
Couldn't speak on it was a boy that's Black
Self-medicated wasn't with drugs
Sex was the way that I gained self love
That was just a temporary fix
Every day looking for more hits

Latasha had scared of the corner store
Cops had me scared to ask questions
Gangs had me scared to wear colors
LA's a powder keg and I'm stressin
Looking in the mirror only saw flaws
Tried to get better always had pause
I was also happy when writing,
Things I'm going through I started reciting
This was my first try at therapy
Using my art to repair me
Wasn't going too deep though
So after every song back down rabbit hole
Same self image needed new latitude
College in the A need a new attitude
Clark Atlanta University that was '94
Two years flunked out now lost even more

Written by:
Janale Harris

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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