Cal the Rapper - My Life Is Falling Apart

You ever have those times
Where nothing seems to go right
I do

Nothing seems to be
Going my way. Please
Show me love, I need
Things ain't going right for me
Heat ran out, I freeze
Lost my job, I'm free
Think I might just scream
Ahhhhh!

I got no fuckin heat tonight!
In a Michigan winter, I'm losing my mind!
Sleeping with my clothes on because it's cold. It's 19 fuckin degrees outside!
God, how long do I gotta keep living this way?
I'm not okay
Look at my face
Do you see pain?
I can't explain but I don't feel right and I'm losing my way
I've always struggled with expressing emotion now look at me
Feel a little bit depression. My goals are so far to reach
But do you know just why I'm stressing? I don't either, hard to see
Try hard to count my blessings but sometimes I fall really deep
Do you know what it's like when you have to shit in a fuckin bucket?
Every single day you wake up and you're thinking fuck it?
All you wanna do is move away but can't afford to truck it?
So instead you try to be patient? Inside you got a ruckus?
You want to continue the journey but it's getting hard to trust it?
Thinking about giving up? Let somebody else run it?
Man, I'm right there with you sometimes it can be so fucking hard
I just tell myself that one day I will be the one in charge
And I been out for a minute
Mentally, I was lost
Why I started, I forget it
But I'll come out as a boss
This shit ain't intentional
I didn't mean to do it
It fucked up my mental
now my brain is in ruins
Maybe I didn't really want it
But I kept on pursuing
Because I didn't wanna quit
Had a fear I would lose it
Ever have those days when you feel like doing nothin'?
I had that for way too long! Now I'm blue and suffering!

My life is falling apaaart
I don't know where I should staaart
To stop it from getting too faaar
My life is falling apaaart

Recently I lost my job to somethin out of my control
The company went bankrupt. And it fucked up our payroll
We all got paid one day late, two weeks in a row
During those two weeks, all we would do is make jokes
Cause it made it easier on every single one of us
Didn't want to lose our jobs but something weird came up
Coronavirus. It was here. Now guess what
I don't get a paycheck. Meaning I got no income
I got no income
I got no income
I got no income
I got no income
Filled the truck with gas so I got a full tank
Sorry for this Dad, but I'm moving far away
Going to go live with Mom. Think I'm gonna leave Friday
I just gotta go before the storm produces more rain
All my will to better myself going down a drain
Subconscious is getting hurt every single day
Deep inside it's carving out a spot to add more pain
I keep getting told unknowingly by my brain
Miserable as hell
Miserable as hell
Miserable as hell
I feel miserable as hell

Nothing seems to be
Going my way. Please
Show me love, I need
Things ain't going right for me

Sometimes
It can be really fucking hard
But you gotta push though
Just a little longer

Written by:
CALEB CARPENTER

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid, Songtrust Ave

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