Owen Meldon - Leave Your Shoes

Welcome to the house
I'm sure glad I found a decent offer
Why don't you leave your shoes at the door andI'll show you around

My name is Matt Wellcomb, you can just call me Matt
And this house was built in 1970, how about that
There's a whole lot of stuff we have to cover so be ready
And once this is said and done, are you up for some spaghetti

In the kitchen we got my counter that's made from iron ore
I got this from the dumpster of a granite store
And the microwave here is from 1989
It only has one setting but I think it works just fine
Below it is the stove with only one burner: top right
I like to make my chicken soup here every night
And the table over there was free from Craigslist
It was only 7 miles away and I couldn't resist

The living room is fine, there's a TV on the floor
And an old lumpy chair that's from 1994
I like to watch the reruns of anything I can find
You wanna see the bathrooms next? Hope you don't mind

Just step right this way

In the bathroom I have a sink but no space to do my biz
It's a shame but architecturally, it is what it is
The shower is behind us and there's not a single tile
We've ought to get that fixed, but that'd take a decent while
The master is around the corner, but don't forget to duck
The ceilings are too low, but it was bang for my buck
I could only fit a twin bed here at the cost of lower ceilings
I may squeeze in a queen mattress, depends on how I'm feeling

The only set of stairs is missing three steps so watch out
That should be a quick fix, no doubt
And if you want to see the backyard then follow me
Because there's not much of the house that's left to see

I promise you, you'll get used to it

The fence is just some chicken wire, although you should replace it
I didn't want to put in wood because it doesn't fit
The grass out here is a pain to mow, so invest in a good mower
And there's pipes out here that fill with leaves, so buy a blower
So if you want to buy this house, then feel free to call my realtor
And I'm sure you'll get a decent price

I'm not really interested in buying this place anymore, man
Really
Yeah...It's a little out there for my standards
It's the lowest price in the neighborhood
Good luck selling your house, I don't know how anybody could live like this
Especially with those dead animals in the garage

Written by:
Owen Meldon

Publisher:
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Owen Meldon

Owen Meldon

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