Fern Mackenzie - Meditation of Regret

Here I am, in the golden hour
I watch the shadows reach across the ground
And here I stand, with a heavy heart
But I just stay silent among the evening's sound
Guess I'll walk back up the street, crunching all the fallen leaves

I was gonna drive to Denton to see about a girl
But that didn't pan out so I'm just home alone again
My life is a meditation of regret and indolence
Instead of working for my future I just wanna reach the end
But is this any way to live? Something's got to give

Well, I'll full of rage and I'm sunk with sorrow
Though I can't help but to laugh at this charade
Because as I age I can see the strings
Of this phony little show up on this stilted stage
I don't know how, but I wanna tear it all down

For nine years now I've been writing these
Solipsistic folk songs for myself
As if somehow they would ever lead
To just a bit of understanding or any kind of validation
Cos my desires are demanding but I'm held back by hesitation
And when she returned my ring I guess it all just fell apart
And, now that I've lost everything, I don't even wanna restart
But I know the spiral won't turn backward and I'm stuck here all the same
My spirit, it is fractured, and it seems I can never change
And I don't know how many times before I've sang this fucking message
But I can't do this anymore; I see the daylight's final vestige

Now another night is here, I wish I could disappear
O God, if You hear me, won't You please come be near me

Written by:
Fernando Mackenzie

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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