Misunderstood - idontwannakillmyself

It's not that I'm suicidal, I just don't care if I die
But I don't know if that is true, if it is, why do I cry
I keep multiplying, dividing, can't find an answer to why (y)
Keep swearing to God I'm done, keep swearing to God that I'll try
If I told you that I'm happy I'd be telling you a lie
The smile that I wear I only use as a disguise
You can see my true emotions, if you look me in the eyes
So congratulations, I hope you enjoy the prize
How do I explain that I'm so tired of being alive
And how do I explain that I want to crash when I drive
How do I explain that I don't want to see 25
I'm on the mountain-top and I feel like I need to dive
I know I should be happy, I'm prolly my own demise
And the truth is I'm scared of everything that implies
I'm not tryna be alright, and I'm not trying to just survive
I don't wanna kill myself, I just want to enjoy my life
I swear I hear a voice, but there is nobody around
When I look in that direction, there is nothing to be found
Sometimes I just lay there, I can't even make a sound
I can't even move a muscle, feels like I'm tied to the ground
I see these creatures moving, they only come out at night
And if they tried to kill me, I don't know if I would fight
My world is dark, I don't even try to see the light
I don't wanna kill myself but give the means and I might
I don't wanna kill myself, but these voices, they keep on talking
I tell them go away, but their answer wasn't that shocking
I try to shut em out, but I know that they're still there stalking
Somehow all the doors in my mind, they just started locking
When I fall asleep I have this reoccurring dream
There's nothing else around, just a standing mirror and me
And it shows me all the things that I never wanted to see
Paints me as a monster and I'm inclined to agree
I don't wanna kill myself, but really don't want to exist
So that I could disappear and would never have to be missed
I look up to the sky and I wonder if this is it
A tear down my face and I'm clenching both of my fists
If you say I disappoint, then I'll add you onto my list
Of people I let down or the people that I've left pissed
If you wanna kill me, then do it, I must insist
I don't wanna kill myself, but I think that you get the gist
I swear I hear a voice, but there is nobody around
When I look in that direction, there is nothing to be found
Sometimes I just lay there, I can't even make a sound
I can't even move a muscle, feels like I'm tied to the ground
I see these creatures moving, they only come out at night
And if they tried to kill me, I don't know if I would fight
My world is dark, I don't even try to see the light
I don't wanna kill myself but give the means and I might

Written by:
Roberto Hernandez

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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