Filanthropy - PARANOID

Running from the truth doesn't make it go away
Seem to stay
Or fade away
It doesn't change it up
Or make it fade to grey
Facing the truth
Letting it seep
Spilling all my thoughts
Can't hide it from me
Like what's going on
I can't see
My eyes been clouded by subconscious
Beating me up inside my own head
Like are you really there for me
Do you want what's best for me
Are you with me to get over him
Then on to find another one
Like
I been thinking this one through
And think i've finally found the answer
I won't let you walk all over me
Won't let you walk all over me
I'm done with indecisive thoughts
Anxious creeping
Even when i'm dreaming
Have you been thinking
What the future for us holds
I've been praying waiting hoping on you
But i don't know if you'd wait for me
Clearly i've been off the deep end
One too many times
Cause no one seems to really care anymore
To see how i've been doing
I'm okay with it
Like baby
I know we've been thru ups and downs and lefts and rights
But do you think you could stay the night
I know we fight
About the little things
Pushing back and forth
But we're not willing to budge
Stubborn lovers
Stuck on others
Feel the tension from each other
When we argue
It hurts me
I don't want this to be reality
I just wanna settle down, no conflict
Cause i know you are the one
You picked me up
From the trenches
I know i don't always show it
But i'd be lying if i said it's all my fault
Even though i feel that way
I'm sorry i've been disconnected
I've been trynna find my way
Step outside into the sunlight
Sublime state of mind
What i have been chasing
Like a word that's on the tip of your your tongue
I know i'm almost somewhere great
A new discovery
Maybe something new for me
I don't know what it might
To be painfully honest
But i know whatever comes i wanna be right by your side
Cause who am i without you
Like a tree without leaves
I wanna stick with you and be the person i've set out to be
Engine with no gasoline
Paper with no pen
Bricks without a building
Dark without the light
Bottle with no cap
Sleeping with no dreams
Snowy weather without cocoa
Camera with no photos
Flashlight with no battery
I know the situation isn't bad
In all reguards of what has happened
I just close off from the world
Tend to dose off in self pity
I just wanna be okay
Maybe i should get some rest
This panic paranoia has been steadily just gripping at my chest
Promised myself i would be okay
But that was months 'for i knew your name
I'll do my best
To cheer you on
I hope you're doing better now
My art bleeds passion
And this one has been for you
I need to grow up by myself
And face these anxious thoughts
That have been knocking at my door
I wish you well
I pray godspeed
Yeah
This isn't goodbye
But a see you later
On the other side
Of all the doubts we had together
Hopefully you find yourself
Inside of all this cloudy weather

Written by:
Jonathan Ustinenkov

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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