Whats His Face - Lie Behind My Smile
Wonder how I stay so proud?
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
Ball of energy when I am around
But The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
They always thought I was a happy child
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
Prolly shouldn't, but I'm here somehow
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
Seven year old without a hero
But my brother there to help me through the pain
Tough love was necessary
'Cuz 8th Street shit was pretty scary
But at home, the threat level the same
Mom's mad and my dad angry again.
They had a tendency to do that.
Doubled up jeans, but he knew that
Had to lay down on the floor while he knew that shit was wrong
Told us take them pants off started whippin' a storm
Well aight
Maybe I deserved a lash or two
'Cuz I was hyper as fuck seekin' attention w/ an attitude
But tell me,
How could one explain bein' locked up in a closet tied up
Told to eat some rat poison if the food ain't enough
Loud voices reverberate
House full of yellin' on a daily I lay awake
'Til I head to cousin' crib
Then I hear, "Do you even have a home to stay at"
God damn I never win
Wonder how I stay so proud?
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
Ball of energy when I am around
But The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
They always thought I was a happy child
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
Prolly shouldn't, but I'm here somehow
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my)
Okay
Maybe I could find some respite in class
But I got flashed on for wearin' blue
While I was walkin' alone
2nd grade didn't know what to do
But age don't mean shit when you're crossin' a crew
Lookin' for any reason to lash
Proceed to react
I instantly dashed and ended up right back at the spot
But same shit different day
6 years later, no change
Except for the domestic abuse
That's real shit
Dad's gone
Mom's suicidal
And so was I but I ain't have time to be a child though
Can you imagine what it's like to hide the sharp items
At 13 cuz you afraid for your mom's survival
A year later seen a dude shot dead in the lot
Of high school, headshot, bro dead on the spot
Then I hit a quinceanera couple weeks later
Live shooter poppin' off outside
Had to duck under tables, here he comes gunpoint at the roof
Locked down 'til the cops come through
Had to tell my boy chill, don't attack, he drunk
And if he shoot in our direction then we'll all be fucked
Laugh it off a day later... a day in the life
Had to suppress it like the gun the cop used when he took dude's life
Sayin', "That's just how it is", Talk about your biz, then you weak
And I ain't never that, no sir
I held it in so long, I thought I'd get an ulcer
So shit I had to perform to never show emotion
Rappin' and Singin', Youtubing was my only way out
And people wonder why I'm goofy all the time
I laugh cuz I'm sad and now I realize that shit makes sense
That's the only way I knew how to cope
Thank God I had an outlet, but homies that I grew up close to
Ended up back on the streets slangin' coke
Or undiagnosed
If we had some help
Normalizin' talkin' bout all of our mental health
'Cuz even now I'm fightin' tears writin' bout it
Like I'm doin' something wrong
But I know I'm programmed to never put it to song
And my hope
Is that we gain some understandin'
That you are not alone and I am here for you my plan is
To make the thought of supressin' your feelin's outlandish
Then maybe we could all be better off before we vanish
Wonder how I stay so proud?
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
Ball of energy when I am around
But The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
They always thought I was a happy child
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
Prolly shouldn't, but I'm here somehow
The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)
Written by:
Ryan Cordero
Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
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