77 Apes - Another Family Holiday (Explicit Version)
Mom's yelling in the kitchen smells like she burned another roast
So she's serving up cold scrambled eggs and yesterday's French toast
I guess Tanqueray and wine's not the best breakfast for Christmas Eve
My sister's rolling Molly she's got a rave going upstairs
Grandpa's hitting a fat doobie in his favorite easy chair
My brother Donnie's huffing paint thinner in the van with cousins Terry and Steve
Well Dad called from the tavern said he'll be home round 10pm
My little brother's running around naked firing nerf guns in the air
Merry Fucking Christmas it's another family holiday
Well my uncle's getting familiar with his second cousin Trish
My brother and my sister are fighting about which one of them's more rich
My aunt Sally drank our entire bottle of Laphroig we've kept for seventy years
My cousin Charlie's in the rec room you know he brought his special friend
A handsome guy he met during his stay at the Folsom County pen
My girlfriend grabs my thigh and asks can Christmas come just once this year
Dad's down at the tavern said he'll be home bout 1AM
My little brother's naked shooting paintballs in the air
Merry Fucking Christmas it's another family holiday
I got a rock
Well I've finally had enough I scream that's it I'm going home
I'd rather watch TV with frosted flakes and spend my night alone
I slam the door and start my car I'm so ready to be out of here
I just don't understand them they got no rhyme or reason why
If I gotta spend another minute here I think I'm gonna die
Then my dad taps on the window says come on let's get a shot and a beer
We stride into the living room and the entire family cheers
My naked little brother gets cuffed right behind the ear for saying
Merry Fucking Christmas it's another family holiday
Well let me tell you brother this one thing I know is true
One day your kids are gonna feel the same way about you so
Merry Fucking Christmas it's another family holiday
Merry Fucking Christmas we're so glad that you came and stayed
Merry Fucking Christmas I wouldn't have it any other way
Written by:
Gary Aronsen
Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
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