Emily Bass - I'll Just Not

Today I almost received an apology
It honestly felt like you were blaming me
Don't think your mind is capable of sincerity
It doesn't operate at that capacity
When your friends ask, "What went down with Emily?"
You'll say, "Oh she just had a little crush on me."
As if you didn't instigate this entire thing
You even fooled my entire fucking family
And now here we are
You're texting me
It's three am and you can't sleep
So I'll come over anxiously
Because I love you then I hate you then I'm sorry but I'm not
Sometimes I wish we'd never talk but then I'm lonely when we're not
Don't think that I'll ever forgive you for the love I never got
But I think maybe I don't have to so maybe I'll just not
Today I was almost convinced that it's up to me
As if I'm not just another piece
In your twisted game you like to play
With those who see your flaws and love you anyways
Reminded of the way things used to be
Before I understood all the ways you abuse me
Use me, lose me then choose me
Over and over and over again
Now here we are
You're home alone
I'm in my car in your front yard
Cause I can run but I won't get far
Because I love you then I hate you then I'm sorry but I'm not
Sometimes I wish we'd never met Lord knows that I'd be better off
Don't think that I'll ever forgive you for the love I never got
But I think maybe I don't have to
So maybe I'll just not
Wish you could be better but you can't
So maybe I'm better off making other plans
Because I love you
But I can't
Lord knows I want to
But I just can't afford the consequence
You know I love you but I hate to cause I know I'm better off
Don't have the time for your indifference
Just gonna let you take this loss
Because you don't have to forgive just take the lessons you were taught
Forgetting isn't easy
So maybe
So maybe I'll just not

Written by:
Emily Bass

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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