Russell Shaddox - The Fruitcake Song
You can give me eggnog whether it's got rum or notI won't refuse a toddy if you make it nice and hot
But if you try to serve me fruitcake, I will scream and run away
'Cause fruitcake is the devil and it's leading me astray
Ancients made up holidays to finish off the year
Mistletoe and frankincense and universal cheer
But then they spoiled it all with fruitcake, the confection of the beast
It's the chewy evil apex of some dark satanic feast
Fruitcake, fruitcake
As tasty as a tree
Just a bite will make my tooth break
And the dentist don't come free
Out west they fling their fruitcake with a homemade trebuchet
Or use it as a tire block so their cars won't roll away
But there's some crazy hippies smoke it; they're the ones you must avoid
'Cause if you inhale that fruitcake then your soul will be destroyed
Fruitcake, fruitcake
You'll be the death of me
Just the thought will make my mind ache
And corrupt my sanity
You can give me crap for my alarmist point of view
Tell me I need therapy, and it may well be true
Still I won't consort with candied maraschino cherry glaze
'Cause fruitcake is the devil and it haunts me all my days
Yes, fruitcake is the devil and it's leading me astray
Oh fruitcake, you're the devil, and you're leading me astray
Written by:
Russell Shaddox
Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
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