Elraj - Bleeding Mind

As my mind keeps bleeding
Questioning whether or not I did the right thing
I pick up a pen to put it in writing
Write about how Its vessels keeps frying
As this heart keeps dying

Maybe it needs a jolt of lightning
Cause it gets tired of fighting
The doom is near and pending
And this is all too frightening

A defib wouldn't do the trick
At times I was a selfish prick
On occasion I couldn't contain the freak
When all I had to do was make you my pick

I am always cerebrally at war
These cranial Hemispheres I can't seem to ignore
The left is against and the right is for
Trying to decide which path is forward

Trust issues is on the high
Can't bear to see another guy say hi
Guy, I am in my room doing nothing
Nah, I am sure there is another guy in there nutting

These days I could never get it right
Get the right words to say
Hey, I like the way your hips sway
Dude! Why is your timing always off?
Hey babe, even saying the fine things pisses you off?

You needing times to cool off
The breaks wasn't enough
To stop the impending doom
As the clouds of sadness loomed over us
We seem to be, getting over us

Cause baby When you take those breaks
A part of My heart breaks
Each time I become less fearful
I become less of a fair fool.
Each time you teach me to care less
Unrealizing of how you are being careless

I could have used some forewarning
You could have given me 4 warnings
Even though it's 4am, it's not morning
Cos I'm still in a dark place, and I'm still mourning

It's been 48 hours without a call from you
Will I survive the next 48 without you?
Was hoping to spend the next 48years with you

So How dare you?
Stand the silence in between
I thought we were supposed to be twin

Be in tune with one another
Never forsake the other
Keep the love and keep the order
Keep this heart in the palm of the other

But this heart, I can feel it's muscles weaken
Each pump reducing slowly in its beating
The shock from lack of blood from all the previous bleeding
Trying hard to stop itself from giving in

If this heart stopped would I still have a reason to live?
Cause I put it my all and all I could give
And all I could give you was care and love
But it seemed like I did too much and exceeded enough
Would you please not be a bird and not fly off?

If you said yes
Would it make difference?
If you said no, I wouldn't really know the difference
In the expressions

I'll pick you, thumb to ink you in every emotional election
We've drawn Love & battle lines
Would it matter though?
I have fought for this with a piece of red clothing like a matador
I barely scrapped through and almost got gored
Looked up to the heavens, palms up and called God
Creeping through the fine heart fibers, I got lured
This shouldn't be happening again dear lord!

Now, I am in a room thinking and wondering
Wondering if there is anything left worth saving
Thinking of the rights words that I am not saying
Thinking about nothing and everything
Everything that could be and never be
Because the future cannot be seen
Seen through this blurred lenses
Maybe my refractory vision needs correcting
From all experiences that I have been collecting
Hoping that someday what I did wasn't neglecting
Neglecting the best thing that life had in store
Maybe then this heart won't be sore
From hoping that we could have been more
But we both know all too well that
Love doesn't live here anymore

So, as my emotional curtains falls like a clast
As the words roll up to reveal the cast
With the mind flat lining looking back to the past
Made me realize we were never built to last
E.L.R.A.J

Written by:
Abdulkadir Raji

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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