Pwrup - Castigation: The Simulation (feat. The Best of the Worst)

I feel everything I've ever felt all at once
All the time, where is my mind?
Everything that I regret, it passes by
Moments in time, I hit myself with this
Bludgeoning is comforting, familiar and safe
Reminds me not to make mistakes
My private penance waits for me, self indulgence
Castigation: The Simulation

The things I've said and done are locked in perpetuity
The one person I can't forgive is me
This guilt i feel won't pay anyone back for what I gave
Psychic debt bankrupts you just the same

Dissociation, hallucination, self-medication, recalibration

All my dots are disconnected I feel totally fine
At least until these chemicals are out of my mind
And then I'm back again I'm there I'm then I'm everywhere
I've harmed someone through poor decision
I try and keep all of this hate inside
I'm a rusty trash receptacle conceding to time
Remember me to one who's from my past
Who has reaped me from their life and hasn't ever looked back

All of these scenes from my life torment me unendingly
The price I pay for having been myself
Imperfect record skipping back and forth through time and space
False knight with infinite windmills to face

I built this prison in my mind
I'm serving life behind my eyes
Maybe if i figure out how to unring these bells
I can learn how not to hate myself

Cycled through my grievances, one by one
Cataloged by catastrophics, and I just can't give them up
Cause I'll never be good enough for the life I wanted
Buried in self condolence, swallowed by disappointment
Hanging onto my regrets, focused on all of my negatives
And I wonder: Is this all we're meant to be?

The past, a place so tempting for my mind to want to be
I wish i could stop wishing, transcend this misery
But if i put this down, If i let all this shit go
What kind of person would I be?

Written by:
Aaron Hibbert, Gary Dionne, Justin Belden

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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