Shiny Thomas - Checkout Number Two

If you ever find yourself
Stood in front of supermarket shelves
An overwhelming range of choice
Too much for you

Dig in deep and hold on tight
Grab the first thing in your line of sight
Shiver past the fridges
And head for checkout two

The trolley it may look funny
A lonesome tube of runny honey
But that's no-one else's business
It is up to you

The queue is long you stand in line
Envious of the checkout time
Four rows down with baskets
Where they are flying through

It's only one item you think
Ditch the trolley, head our for a drink
But the pound deposit
Weighs heavy on your mind

Margarine!
You need margarine

You could ring her, you could say
The shop was closed, I'm on my way
Let's just get a takeaway today

But then what would you do
When she said she was in aisle two
Picking out steak for the stew?

I've got the honey, honey?
I've got the honey, honey?

So you make your way back in the store
Remembering just what you came here for
A few deep breaths, a mental check
Good as new

Steak, the veg, new potatoes
Balsamic, a cheap Merlot
Confidence flows through you
Just like electricity

You find some time to choose some flowers
Remind yourself you need a shower
Decant to a basket
And head to the fast lane

Politely say you have a bag
You need no help you almost brag
Even try to crack a gag
To find funny's subjective

Head outside on to the street
Heat on tarmac smells so sweet
In your head you play
No retreat, no surrender

Margarine!
You need margarine

The first thing that she said
When she woke up in your bed
Was don't forget to get the spread baby

The table's booked for nine
So that should give plenty of time
To get the spread and a bottle of wine today

So the moral of this tale
Is brave and weak both shall fail
When faced with over choice in retail

But resistance is futile
We all must sashay down the aisles
Of wonderwalls and mile high nappy piles

I've got the honey, honey
I've got the honey, honey

Written by:
Dominic Richardson

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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