Jeff Sager - Crush

I got a crush, I got a crush on you
And I think it's possible you might like me too
I know you have a quote, unquote boyfriend
But I still feel like I'll wind up with you in the end
I got a crush, but I'm remaining detached
Even though I'm positive we're the perfect match
I've only met you once but I'd marry you right now
And cry as I read you my totally detached vows

When you look at me, the true essence of beauty divinely shines through
Yup, it's either that or I just really want to fuck you

I got a crush, gotta get you out of my head
So I jerk off to your Facebook photos instead
Tell my friends you're the one, they say I think with my dick
But they don't know you like I do, I've seen all of your pics
I got a crush, who still has a boyfriend
But I can read between the lines, she clearly wants it to end
So her boyfriend goes missing mysteriously
Now me and my crush can finally be free

Oh babe, stop crying. It's not like he's dying, necessarily
Yup, I bet he'll turn up just as soon as you marry me

Now I'm in jail. Maybe I misread the signs
The boyfriend bandit's been caught, solitarily confined
Good thing I got your face tattooed on my wrist
Next to the faces of my last crushes I'm still waiting to kiss
How many more boyfriends' lives will be spared
Till I remember to feed them when chained to my basement stairs
But hey, maybe there'd be no boyfriends to dispose of
If I could just distinguish between lust and love

Every crush, an interchangeable rush that pretends to fill the void
But now I know that ruse. Remorsefully pay my dues for countless lives I have destroyed

Got a new crush, this time on my prison guard
His divine beauty shines right through the bars
I didn't even know I was attracted to dudes
But twenty years in a cell sure changes your attitude
So his boyfriend goes missing mysteriously
He looks at me in awe, like dude, seriously?
How'd you even do that, you've been here this whole time
I said my love knows no boundaries, now can we please fuck

Now we've been happily married, twenty years to the day
Never felt so complete. Still can't believe that I'm gay
I think of all those dead boyfriends, and man, what a waste
That whole time I could have been fucking them in their face

Written by:
Jeff Sager

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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