C. S. Phoenix - Death By Dedication
What you call dedicationI call disorder
In high school
I was dedicated
Dedicated to exercising in place of eating
Dedicated to a steady regiment of diet pills and laxatives
I looked healthy
Because I was tearing myself apart from the inside
In college
I was dedicated to lunch hour swims and daily 2 hour lifting sessions
I was dedicated to drinking more water than my body could process
And not knowing what Ben and Jerry's tasted like
In adulthood
I have been dedicated to sticking to the list of foods I've made
So that I don't have to obsess over my meal planning
But instead feel guilt and shame when I eat off my schedule
I have been dedicated to my workout regiment
Even when I am tired, injured, or ill
What looks to the outside like dedication
Feels a lot like I'm killing myself slowly
So no one will notice
And when I die
In my eulogy
They will not speak of my disorder, but my dedication
Written by:
Chandra Watson
Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
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