Jon Lajoie - F**K Everything

Yo
All the rappers claim to not give a fuck
Well, step aside bitches
'Cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible
What?

(I don't a give a fuck)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what?
(I don't give a fuck)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything
People care about shit, I say, "Fuck everything"
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees, fuck the sun
I don't need heat or vitamin D
And fuck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread
And fuck coasters, I use a little plate instead
And fuck roosters, with their useless "cockadoodledoo"
We invented alarm clocks, we no longer need you
Don't give a fuck about chairs, I prefer to stand
And fuck air conditioners, I got a ceiling fan
And fuck the the movie the fan, starring Wesley Snipes
"Demolition man"'s the only snipes movie I liked
And fuck liking shit, I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit I don't like
Like tissues, fuck them, I blow my nose on the couch
And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth
Don't give a fuck about seeing bitch, fuck my eyes
Fuck visual perception, yo, I'd rather be blind
Fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
And hours are way too long, they should be half an hour at most
And fuck coasts, who gives a fuck about where water meets land
And fuck boats, just because you float you think you're so fucking bad
And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but

(I don't a give a fuck)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what?
(I don't give a fuck)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup
The girl says, "Small, medium, large?"
I say, "Bitch I don't give a fuck"
She said, "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"
I said, "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?"
Don't give a fuck about beverage size options, motherfucker
And I don't give a fuck about liquids either
They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place
Like human semen when I get it all over my face
I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex
And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead
Fuck biological functions, fuck the human body
I prefer the body of a bat with the head of a coyote
I call myself "batyote" and I fight crime at night
I know its similar to Batman but motherfuck copyright
I plagiarize all the time, I do it everyday
'Cause I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way
And fuck birth, entering the world of space and time is a bitch
Searching for purpose in the random universe sucks dick
Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way?
Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays?
If I want ice I'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag
Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag
You know what? Fuck the word fuck, I don't need to use it
I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this chorus

(I don't a give a chainsaw)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what?
(I don't give a chainsaw)
I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything

If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most
I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winning, yo
I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck
So I do give a fuck wait, what?

(I give a fuck)
About everything, I love everyone and care about everything, what?
(I give a fuck)
I literally care about every motherfucking thing

Written by:
Jonathan Lajoie

Publisher:
Lyrics © TUNECORE INC, TuneCore Inc.

Lyrics powered by Lyric Find