PAINTED SMILES - I'M GONE

(Yeah) lately I haven't been feeling good enough anymore (Yeah)
Should I go and not have to deal with any of this anymore?
I'm gone (Yeah) I'm just done with it all (Joe Harrow)
I'm gone, say your goodbyes because I'm not going to be here anymore
Yeah
My fucked up life, its painful sometimes
Staring at the sky, leaving my normal thoughts out of my mind
Surprised I've lived this far its torture when my mental health wants to decline
Numerous times I've tried to end things happiness was so hard to find
I tried to leave it all behind, everything found its way back in my life (Yeah)
It wasn't until I was 16 I started using the knife (Yeah)
On and off for years after, nothing ever changes
Since then I started worrying what I was going to be in my afterlife yeah
Back to the start born in double 0 living for the dramatics
Skipping school no friends so I try to make my music classics (Ai)
Diagnosed for too much at a young age I finally found out the reason for my thoughts
Trying to push out the tragic memories as I found out it's all genetic (Harrow)
I can never think straight so rapping helps me escape my terrors
If I told anyone what I was thinking I would be looked after by carers
You see nothing was seen to at a young age, I was deemed as a stressor
But they didn't know the real reason I'm not okay, I needed a repairer yeah
Lately I haven't been feeling good enough anymore (Yeah)
Should I go and not have to deal with any of this anymore? (Yeah)
I'm gone (Yeah) I'm just done with it all (Ai yeah)
I'm gone, say your goodbyes because I'm not going to be here anymore (Yeah ai ai)
If it wasn't for my music, my nights would lead to more depression
After the shit I have done in my past, I know I wont go to heaven
Fucked up another relationship, we'll add that to the collection
I use my music as a diary, soon I'll write my confession (Yeah)
Seeing all my flaws, they're hiding in my reflection (Ai)
One little screw up, there goes my aggression
I'm known as the crazy one, I'm the true definition (Yeah)
Meet me for the first time, you'll have the same impression ai
Born in negativity, flex online with the positive vibes
Hide my emotions through sarcasm and be dead inside all the time (Yeah)
Losing people since a young age enough to put you off for life
That's the reason I have "to the last bullet" tattooed
So I remember the real ones in life (Joe Harrow)
I lost so much hours being awake at night my eyes started to drown
I felt so much pain from sleepless nights, thought I was going end up in the ground
I feel like ending things soon because I am lost and not yet found
I'm trying to think about different alternatives, I know I wont back down
Diagnosed with depression for over ten years and still looking for an exit
Hid it well before but there's still no getting away from it yeah
One minute I'm okay, then my mind gets distracted
Its all noises at this point, everything together is extremely chaotic (Yeah)
I tried to find the reason I feel like this inside
After all it is one fucked up world imbedded in my mind
Juggling unnecessary pressure and anxiety I just want to leave it behind
The way things are going in my life I'm not making it past 25
Just some perspective of what's going on in this mind of mine
Too much to spill, will save more for another time
I got dark thoughts all the time I know I sound edgy right?
I'm like Patrick Bateman, I'm living as a psycho minus the crime
I got countless depressive rhymes like this, this is what gets me in my zone
Writing lyrics at four AM, no wonder I feel so alone
What's the struggle for me today? my mental health or my Chron's?
I don't want to look into my future I'll be locked up in a room surrounded by foam
Lately I haven't been feeling good enough anymore (Yeah)
Should I go and not have to deal with any of this anymore? (Yeah)
I'm gone (Yeah) I'm just done with it all (Ai yeah)
I'm gone, say your goodbyes because I'm not going to be here anymore

Written by:
Joe Harrow

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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