Sebastian Stephan - Identity Crisis

Sebastian Stephan
Real life music
Let's get to the root of the problem
I didn't choose to be lost
Without knowing the route I was walking
Never was taught how to be a man cause no one can
Teach a boy like a grown-up man
My mom had to be overwhelmed
It was really out of her hands
Cause I grew up with an attitude
And careless tendencies
Mad at the world, mad at my teachers and I made my share of enemies
Insecure as a teen so people on the streets started testing me
Got kicked while I was already on the floor
Lusted for revenge to start a war
Had me looking for a gun for defense to stop it all
I didn't respect men, my dad made me hate them all
He didn't even call
Let alone teach me how to stand up for myself or play ball
A few months overseas with a host dad
Gave me some idea what it would be like to respect a grown man
But I messed up relationships with cold raps
Disrespecting everybody just like before that
A hopeless youngster
Vision blurry when I sipped that Henny
Back in 2010 I never thought I'd see 2020
Do you know who you really are?
Take your time, reinvent yourself, and you will get far
Sometimes you have to pull yourself up
When no one gives you a hand
Maybe it's a good thing, they ain't giving a damn
That means you don't have to make them understand
That means I can mind my own business, learning to be
Easy on myself and be the best version of me
They looked down on small town folks
Packed my shit up, moved to Amsterdam all by myself
Tough times, so I turned to the scripture to ask
God for help, regretting things in my past
The pressure made me bend and try bad
To be perfect questioning everything that I am
Everything that I had
Smoked weed, went psychotic off it
Feared God more then I loved him
Hallucinations and an identity crisis
No longer happy in my skin
No longer happy in white skin
To hell and back with some traumata
Preposterous and torturous too horrid to even think or talk about
I got way more to lose than to gain when I open up
Put off chicks and employers when I wrote this stuff
But it's my way of letting built up emotions out
In rhymes and metaphoric decor
I ain't trying to be liked by everybody no more
Ain't trying to be like everybody no more
I ain't trying to be liked by everybody no more
Ain't trying to be like everybody no more
Do you know who you really are?
Take your time, reinvent yourself, and you will get far
Sometimes you have to pull yourself up
When no one gives you a hand
Maybe it's a good thing, they ain't giving a damn
That means you don't have to make them understand
That means I can mind my own business, learning to be
Easy on myself and be the best version of me
It's sad just to think
Weed had me hallucinating and imagining things
On an insanity brink
It went way out of hand
With hallucinogens I drank from a can
Friends tried to talk sense into me but I just didn't to listen
Had to learn the hard way, wishing
I could turn back time to set things right
A lot of my life was really more of a fight
Sometimes I tried to sleep all day and night but I couldn`t
Sometimes I wished I'd die but I wouldn't
I relive shit still in my dreams
Torture scenarios real as could be
I could barely sleep, waking up to the worst kind of nightmares
Asking, is there a God out there that might care?
Only option I have left
Is looking for a better future with none of the past stress
Took some time off work focusing on my life's story on beats
I want to be all I could be
I know I can move on from the horrors I've seen
Since growing up as a teen
Do you know who you really are?
Take your time, reinvent yourself, and you will get far
Sometimes you have to pull yourself up
When no one gives you a hand
Maybe it's a good thing, they ain't giving a damn
That means you don't have to make them understand
That means I can mind my own business, learning to be
Easy on myself and be the best version of me

Written by:
Sebastian Stephan

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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