Richard Blake - Jaded

When people asked me about my beliefs
I'd plead the fifth
When asked about it I'd rather jump off a cliff
Like I was scared to relay my thoughts
About what Jesus did
Maybe at the time I didn't even really
Believe it, or couldn't perceive it
Or maybe didn't wanna deceive them
Or show them hypocrisy as I told him
Christ died for me while
I was there holding a spliff
So instead i would tell them
I ain't thought about it
Cause if I really had the light
Why was I tryna get lit
For that I'm so ashamed and
I must've been so heartless to
Withhold the saving grace
In a room that was full of darkness
The room filling with sadness as
I sat there looking thoughtless
Like will you just pass the bong
So I can skip right past this topic
So I'd hit it and
I'd start choking in more ways than one
A coward too scared to tell them
That I believed in the Son
At that hour how dare
I be misrepresenting the Son
Who said to be of sober mind and
Shine like the sun
And if I'm telling them that homie
Its a fact they'd front
They'd tell me to get out the house
And don't come back or something
So I'd just keep my mouth shut
Even though that I loved them
I'd rather do drugs than save them
A selfish thing that I hated
My faith in God was so jaded
My love for others was vacant
My careless nature was blatant
I don't condone what I did
Fell down the slope and I slid
Down in a valley sin

Lord I really need you
I know that I got to have you in my life
Come into my heart and make a change
Come into my heart and pave the way
Cause I need you lord
Close to me to make me whole again
Lord I'm on my knees I'm praying
To the Prince of peace to make me right
Come into my heart and take my shame
Come into my heart I don't wanna stay the same
Cause lord I need you close to me so you can feed the flame

Folks look at me now they say I am a hypocrite
The way I'm living now ain't how I was back then
They all look my past ready to tell folks what I did
Back then I didn't care
I just wanted to feel lifted
Rather have pleasure than purpose
It caused me to be a menace
I wrecked my relationships with all my family and friends
I Knew I was a mess but didn't wanna be cleansed
I'd just get higher and higher and say that's how it is
Now I'm filled with regret I was stuck up in a cycle
Looking for answers in a pipe
Instead of opening up the bible
My heart was getting harder
As I sat there suicidal
Like will you just pass the boos
While my life falls down in a spiral
Every time I look back
I see a dude with filthy habits
Chasing pleasure all I cared about
I was a filthy addict
Never cared who I hurt
Never cared bout the word
With the devil id flirt
Cause I never knew
Never thought about what I put people thru
Mom staying up late
Wondering what I'm going thru
What I was out there doing
The bad things I was pursuing
Parents so ashamed
That their son chose to be a loser
I was a drug abuser
I just couldn't stop
Though that's not how they raised me
I chose to go down that pathway
my love for drugs always outweigh
The love I had for my family
Been bout it lately
I don't condone what I did
Fell down the slope and I slid
Down in a valley sin

Lord I really need you
I know that I got to have you in my life
Come into my heart and make a change
Come into my heart and pave the way
Cause I need you lord
Close to me to make me whole again
Lord I'm on my knees I'm praying
To the Prince of peace to make me right
Come into my heart and take my shame
Come into my heart I don't wanna stay the same
Cause lord i need you close to me so you can feed the flame

Written by:
Richard Roberts

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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