Dr. Itchycunt - Jar Song

I stuck my dick in a peanut butter jar
I tried to pull it out
But I didn't get very far
Now I have my dick in a peanut butter jar
I don't know what to do
Should I call my mom?
Should I call my dad?
Should I call the doctor?
It hurts real bad
It's turning blue, it's turning purple
I just wanna fucking die
Cuz now my dick's in a peanut butter jar
And I don't know what to
I'm gonna scream
Somebody help me get the jar off
I don't know what to do
I know I've said it a million times before
But my dick is in a jar
And I wanna die
I can't get it out, I'm gonna scream
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Some say your penis is sacred
Some say you should protect your dick
Some say your penis is sacred
Some say you should protect your dick
My dick has been in the jar for
About six hours
I don't know what to do
I searched it online
And everyone laughed at me
I left a comment on reddit and
They said that I'm a fucking idiot
They said "why did you stick your dick
In the peanut butter jar"
I don't know, I wanted to!
Now I wanna get it out
I don't know what to do
I'm freaking out, I'm gonna scream
My dick is in the jar
I called my dad and he laughed at me
He said that I'm no son of his
And my mom took me out of her will
Some say your penis is sacred
Some say you should protect your dick
Some say your penis is sacred
Some say you should protect your dick
Nobody will give me an answer on what to do
How did I even fit in the peanut butter jar?
I guess I have a chode
I guess my penis is quite girthy
It's like a fucking salami
But like a really big salami
I think I might be black
I'm kidding, that was mildly racist
I didn't mean it
I'm just fucking scared
Cuz my dick is in the jar
And I don't know what to do
I can't comprehend how my dick can fit in the jar
It seriously blows my mind
That I could even fit in the peanut butter jar
Motherfucker
Some say your penis is sacred
Some say you should protect your dick
Some say your penis is sacred
Some say you should protect your dick
I guess this is the outro
I mean, this is my life now
My penis is stuck in a peanut butter jar
I thought it would be a good idea
But, you know, it really wasn't
So, if you take away anything from this song
You know, just learn from me
Learn from my mistakes
If you're gonna stick your dick in anything
Make sure it's an appropriate sized hole
Because this is a fucking problem
I don't know what to do
Like, I guess I'll go to the hospital
Fuck

Written by:
Brian Gaudet

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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