Luyanda Mngadi - Jun 24th 2015

The life of a monorchid is not an
Easy one

This is my struggle
This is my struggle
This is my struggle
This is my struggle
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
I think about it daily yes
It's been on my mind lately yes
And its drivin' me crazy yes
It always break me yes

I think about it daily yes
But I'll be fine, eventually yes
That's if I got more energy left
It really hurt when it occurred but somehow it gave me strength
It's kinda funny when I reminisce
When I look back on that incident
So I lost it standing in a bus
The bus took a curve and it got smashed on a steel bar and I lost a but
But at the time, I didn't mind, I told myself, I take harder punch
Think I'm fine I ignore the moment
But the stingy feeling I should've noticed
Now looking back and regretting that I should have opened
'Cause if I did, it wouldn't have been removed at hospital
And me havin' two testes would be possible
Now I wonder if I'll ever have kids
And going crazy about losing such an important gift
Life is somewhat like Butch Cassidy
And I can't fight it off I lack vanity
Will I have kids and live happily?
Or will fear end my sanity?
Its already gone actually
If I lose this my life is over
I want to cry but I don't have a shoulder
I sometimes wish I wasn't sober
'Cause I get more sad as I get older
Soul

This is my struggle
This is my struggle
This is my struggle
This is my struggle
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
I think about it daily yes
It's been on my mind lately yes
And its drivin' me crazy yes
It always break me yes

I think about it daily yes
You think that I'm a ghost
That really does hurt my soul
Care - what people think? That's you and me both
I'm an outcast, a monorchid
I'm down, sad not important
And I smile fast so its awkward
I'm a bathos in my sources
I'm a mascot with organs
Luyanda is lonely
And only heals through poetry
You say I'm smart but that's far-fetched
"My accolades?" But I'm in awe less
Died eight times that's August
You admire me then you are blessed
You praise me that's progress
For me, for you
I write for me, for you
So we both make it through
I got two feet so that's twice the rhythm in my poetry
I keep to myself, I don't cry openly
'Cause if I did then you'd judge me
Then act like you love me
So keep your fake sympathy
That gives me great misery
And it destroys my energy
You don't understand you lack empathy
Self-love, confidence a good recipe
I guess I'm a bad chef
And not valuable but an asset
That's why I'm in past tense
I don't have love but have sex
Soul

This is my struggle
This is my struggle
This is my struggle
This is my struggle
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
Its how I feel about it
I think about it daily yes
It's been on my mind lately yes
And its drivin' me crazy yes
It always break me yes

Written by:
Luyanda Mngadi

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

Lyrics powered by Lyric Find