Uncle Phil - Monster

I knew I was a monster, from the age of three
When I turned the River Nile into dust
People stared in horror at the monster that was me
But a monster has to do what he must: a monster has to do what he must

At nursery school they wondered what to do with me
Because I got bored and ate up all the books
They brought the parish priest in to interrogate me
While the teachers were exchanging worried looks: the teachers were exchanging worried looks

Yes I am a monster, it's sad but it's true
And all my life I didn't give a damn
An everyday monster and I love you
And a monster's got to be just what he am: a monster's got to be just what he am

In senior school I terrorised the brothers dressed in frocks
They couldn't beat me down although they tried
They shut me in a room but I just bit off all the locks
And laughed while all the dinner ladies cried: I laughed while all the dinner ladies cried

Then I went to art school with the freaks and the heads
I'd paint my face and then go out for tea
See the scary monster in my greens and blues and reds
But everybody else looked just like me: everybody else looked just like me

You can be a monster but you have to pass the test
Of being something other than you seem
A hairy scary monster is the kind we like the best
Stompin' round the place lettin' off steam: stompin' round the place lettin' off steam

Yes I am a monster, there, I've said it again
And I'll throw all of my toys out of the pram
Will you be my monster? We'll set up house and then
We can be whatever monsters am: we can be whatever monsters am

And now that I'm retired I can monster when I like
I get up late and scare the local cats
Riding round the neighbourhood on my monster bike
The local ladies tip their monster hats: the local ladies tip their monster hats

Written by:
Phil Gray

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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