Toke Wright - My Release

I don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell
All I know is I feel like I'm in a shell
I just want to repel to get out of this hell
That's why I feel so compelled to be swell
I don't know where to go and I don't know who to be
All I know is I don't wanna be me
You would wanna be blind if you could see what I see
So I do what I do to form my release
She said, I cut myself at night
I don't know why
Holding back tears so that I don't cry
If I did that, it would just get worse
Deeper, deeper
Seeing blood squirt
If it's bigger with a razor
Then scissors are only safer
Clean it with a towel
Or let it dry and clean it later
Only two people in the whole world that know
It's my reality, not just a show
It's nothing too long, just small deep cuts
Not even family knows
I keep my door shut
I've been smoking some weed with my best friend
Haven't in a while, but I'm sure I will again
Everyone leaves when I want them to stay
Later I realized that I pushed them away
I don't wanna hurt anyone, I just want peace
So I use my cutting as a form of release
I don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell
All I know is I feel like I'm in a shell
I just want to repel to get out of this hell
That's why I feel so compelled to be swell
I don't know where to go and I don't know who to be
All I know is I don't wanna be me
You would wanna be blind if you could see what I see
So I do what I do to form my release
She said, I got so many problems
I don't know where to start
Legally blind in my right eye
Hole in my heart
Kids making fun of me
So I'm feeling ugly
Think about all the bad things people done to me
I was about four
My brother tried to kill me
Knife to my neck
It's like my life's tilting
Two years later and I'm getting molested
I'm so upset
It's like the pain's restless
I don't know why life treats me so roughly
So I'm sending nudes
Letting guys touch me
Now I'm sitting here in a state of depression
I never get used to when the stress sets in
Thoughts of suicide like, shoot, who would mind
I feel like I'm fat and I'm far from a dime
Yeah, I cut myself but it's been four weeks
I just use my cutting as a form of release
I don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell
All I know is I feel like I'm in a shell
I just want to repel to get out of this hell
That's why I feel so compelled to be swell
I don't know where to go and I don't know who to be
All I know is I don't want to be me
You would want to be blind if you could see what I see
So I do what I do to form my release
She said, I think it all started
Probably in middle school
Around like eighth grade
Life felt minuscule
Cousin killed in Puerto Rico
I was stressed
Best friend's sis passed
Is this a test
Surrounded by death
And my other cousin ditched me
So I resulted cutting
Making my wrist bleed
But I gotta keep it covered
Ooh, I got a plan
I covered them with bracelets and rocker studded bands
I don't know why but I always feel so miserable
I knew my friends cut so I decided to do it too
I've known God but I walked away
Yes, it's true
But from this moment on I'm giving it to you
Keep me on your path
This is what I pray
Determined to stay on track from day to day
Now I've been redeemed
I'm living by faith
With focus on you
And I don't have to say
I don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell
All I know is I feel like I'm in a shell
I just want to repel to get out of this hell
That's why I feel so compelled to be swell
I don't know where to go and I don't know who to be
All I know is I don't want to be me
You would want to be blind if you could see what I see
So I do what I do to form my release

Written by:
Matthew Wright

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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