Muted. - Regrets

I messed up
Thinking I could give enough
To show you that I really care
But tell me is it really fair?
That I sacrificed
Everything inside
Of myself every night
So you’d feel alright
I would pass the night
Telling me I’m fine
Thinking you would need me more than I could need me
See we
Got along just fine
And I still remember happy times
Helped me grow so much
Empathy is growing up
But I had to learn to trust
That you’re someone I can love
Was it enough?
Sorry
I was in love
I’m sorry
Now I’m feeling faded
Don’t know how to take it
For you I was changing
Into what you hated
Not because I didn’t love you
I was just hoping that I could make you
Fall in love with who I know I am
A sinner after God’s righteous plan
You said God said to pursue me
Truly?
So tell me why you thought it would be
Best to give it up
I wish that we never fu-
But we did and I was stuck
Trying to please you more
Letting my life deform
Did you ever see it?
When I would struggle with all of these demons
Or were you too focused on your independence
While I was suspecting your hidden intentions?
And that you were using me
Always allowing me
To shower you with things I would only do
For somebody that I’m hoping to
Give the rest of my life
But you just couldn’t decide
After three months of me working to meet your needs
Funny how you never asked me
Why I seemed
To never accept anything
From you in gratitude
It wasn’t my attitude
I don’t believe in expecting anything back for the things that I do
Cuz I do what I’ll always do
For people that I care about who
Would do the same for me
You did the same for me
But you expected a lot from me
Honestly
That’s the thing that I still don’t get
How you always seemed to just forget
All of the times that I stayed up
On the phone when the Sun came up
Helping you through all the times you broke down
Even if it meant that I’ll hit the ground, yeah
And what about the times
I would always drive
When you’d need a ride?
I’d always provide
No matter the things that were going on
I would help you to carry on
Ignoring the hurt I was causing myself
I kept it all in a box on the shelf
And you can say it was all my fault
But I tried until the fall
Of everything
I was so happy when you would sing
The words didn’t even matter
Honestly I was just flattered
That you would trust me
With things that were hurting
But you insisted on just staying friends
And I made it clear I would stay till the end, yeah
Because of that I never went on a date
With anyone else I wanted to wait
Until you were ready to let me in fully
And you were ready to commit to me truly
That was about the only thing I could think of
And I was hoping that it’d be enough
To show you that I wouldn’t run from you
Hell or high water I’m there for you
But you seem content with avoiding new pain
I’m sorry the last guy had messed with your brain
But I only said you didn’t care about me
Because of a few very big things
I said I didn’t want us to get physical
I never wanted to smoke or get rid of rules
That I had set for myself I was so confused
When it felt like my heart was ridiculed
So I walked away from the things I believe in
Walking with God seemed to not have a meaning
It became all about you
What can I change, what can I do?
But I’m done feeling sorry for me
I could get stuck in my pity for weeks
But I’ll always be stronger than what you think
Even if my heart is shredded and bleeds
I can patch it up
I can lock it up
I can keep it from
Ever going numb
Cuz I’m not afraid to own my mistakes
I’m not afraid to make my own way
I’m just afraid you won’t hear what I say
And understand why I acted that way
I hope you start to feel happy again
And you start trusting good people instead
And I won’t stop growing until I die
I’m giving my all to living my life
So I’m laying down all my regrets
My final apology, there’s nothing left

Written by:
David Lumpkin

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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