Kid Victory - The Thought of You

I can't help but fall into your name
Over again each time I trip

I was biding my time, I guess
I know that I fucking loved you
But after how quick you crumbled
I think that I couldn't trust you
To think that I couldn't hug you or kiss with all me in it
You asked why I didn't fuck you more often, that's why I didn't
I thought I'd fix it with whiskey and drugs slurring my speech
And then I'd tell you how I felt but I rarely gave you my reasons
You handled my demons better than I ever could plead
Telling me "Please, things are okay, lay on my lap 'till you're nodding to sleep
"Is that what you need?"
I guess I took that for granted
I'll admit I broke when you shattered your first enchantment
By fucking some dude at a concert, told me you wouldn't, we spoke in advance
We tried to rewind the clock but we should've known that you can't
And it's funny to think we tried to play it out
When I resented you so much it's even hard to say it now
Outside of lyrics that I'm writing just to try to configure
All that you measured up to in my heart
I'm playing a part never thought I could picture and I'm

Stuck on the cause, confused
Tell me how I could fucking hate you when I'm still in
Love with the thought of you
I fabricated in my brain 'cause I was desperate for pleasure to numb the pain
I'm getting drunk in my haunted gloom
Our memories keep compelling me more to drink until I
Drown in the thoughts of you
Until I drown in the thought of you

You understood how it felt to never feel special to somebody else
Something that we had in common, we spoke of it often, then settled those thoughts on the shelf
We're crying for help but refusing to speak to each other 'bout most of our demons
We're seeking reprieve and relief for our ourselves, not each other
We both come to hate it and never completely recover
Well, fuck it
We're both good at repressing our flaws
But we're not perfect and we became careless, aggressive and wrong
I made such a mess of it all, I should've just let you go
But I wanted to be the man I believed that you needed most
And I couldn't but couldn't come to admit it in stride
Livid inside, trying to make the best of us and hope I'd live with it in time
We had our moments but most of those years
Were us screaming and fighting and wiping our tears
When I lost how I felt, I would always adhere
To the love cause the rest I would fear
You were my only relationship
I never was one for having sex just for the sake of it
Now, I'm here chasing it, damn
It's a relief to feel something for once
While you're getting all of the love that you want
From a person I used to call "friend"
I hope you're both happy and glad that I'm gone
But I'm

Stuck on the cause, confused
Tell me how I could fucking hate you when I'm still in
Love with the thought of you
I fabricated in my brain 'cause I was desperate for pleasure to numb the pain
I'm getting drunk in my haunted gloom
Our memories keep compelling me more to drink until I
Drown in the thoughts of you
Until I drown in the thought of you

I can't help but fall into your name
Over again each time I trip

Written by:
Lan Bakhuis

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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