Mommy Pants - Think About It, Pt. 4

Lying in bed with our feet wrapped around each other
We're like twin sisters in the womb

I used to care about my dreams a lot
Now I love sleeping more
At least I still visit dreams
Because I nap more than before

I'm an Eminempath, because I feel it
Plus it makes sense at the same time

Your tits look so 1952

I would rip your ex's lips off, but then he can't suck dick

Your pussy is rare, but I get it well done
Now find the median, that's medium, son

IBS, ADD, HSP, PTSD, identity crisis
Moments of anxiety, depression, neuroticism
All the things that make life awesome

My dumb neighbors called the landlord over our loud music
It was to drown out my wife's screaming so that the cops would not be called
I was making her squirt
Guess the noise complaint is not too bad

To say, "somebody's here" is a polite terrible thing for an introvert to hear

Porn is cheating, but I'm not saying not to do it
Because technically you're not doing it

Art is not to just change the future of yourself or the world
But remind yourself how something once was right now
P.S. Hotdog

Ran out of alcohol, so I used the 3 dollar wine I was saving for cooking Shrimp Scampi
It had me splattering in the toilet, but at least it was 13 percent

You are a rare case of a real speciwoman

You can party with someone all night
Next day realize the connection wasn't tight
One might come along and prove you wrong
But who knows if that shit is gonna last
People like to screw you in the ass

It's very weird how we straight men can poop 6 inch turds out of our bung hole

Trying to keep it chill
Just drank some radiator fluid

Wanna take a sippage from cousin Mike's drippage
Whaaat

She's asexual, so she must be a sexual person

Too many sex jokes and people might think you're perverted
Or that you want to cum all the time, which is somewhat normal

Pot takes you to the Top, which is Pot backwards
And that's were you end back Up

If I could be psychedelic I might, just to get out of here
Unfortunately, here I am

Life be D-Pressing even though she be Pressing my D
Even worse when she not with me

When a parent coaches a kid to reject another parent
The kid is not at fault, it's apparent

Young kids know too much about too little
Old people know too little about too much
Meanwhile I'm just a retard

The moment you say, "death could be nice" people think you're suicidal
When really you're just excited to one day leave this weird planet

When female comics say, "so this guy's dick I sucked the other night
Was super small...", Is the joke on them
Or you

I'm not that smart, but I know what love jizz
A quote by Forest Hump

People who religiously say, "be yourself" while they overly eat
Tony's Supreme Pizza

The only time my lady is mean is when she sucks my dick

Supposedly Parrots tend to become sexually attracted to humans
Maybe because many people have bird brains too

I'm a farm boy, like to mow the lawn, boy

Things come more alive when you lose your mind
But you still die when you don't keep yours

The worse time to receive devastating news is while constipated
It hurts really bad, and you can't even let that shit out

What's up Mr. Copper... 5-O, 5-O... this ain't Fox and the Hound

The saddest thing to hear about is someone dying in a car crash
With a load of groceries

We can become a product of many things, along with what others think of us
But we could be right
And they could be right

Imagine a baby on an umbilical cord attached to Jesus as he's walking down the street
At that point I'd be too curious not to Follow Him
Sorry that's fucked up, I should have said an unbiblical cord

Hello Ms. Delicate-flipping-of-papers all while being a bitch
Glad you enjoy your comfy office job

J.K., Rowling.. On the Floor Laughing

I like life, but I love my wife
I want to put her face on a longboard
So we both can longboard

There's so much below your feet
And below your head, ya burnout

If you screw me in the ground
How could you expect me to come back up to be with you

Very odd to think my butthole is at some point completely in line
With a stranger's on the opposite side of Earth

Wonder if Shakespeare ever got the shakes
Then again, he was not the main one on stage

When lice bring their family into your hair
It's like A Lice in Wonderland

Written by:
Brandon Harig

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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